The Rebirth of Belladonna Cove

Wait ! What the ...?! (A Founder Legacy)

2020-01-01T14:13:00.001-05:00

Joe Schmoe ... do you know why you have been brought here today to the Minionettes of Legacy Land Court?

(*sniffing indifferently) I can't say that I do.

Your Mad Scientist activities in this SimWorld have been well-documented. Your scientific genius holds no bounds and in your quest to attain the ultimate knowledge of Life, the Universe and Everything, you began experimenting on sims that you kidnapped right off of the street.

I have no idea to what you may be referring.

Do you deny the fact that you kidnapped five women ...

... THESE five women in an attempt to clone them?

Of course, I deny it. I've never seen those women before in my life.

Do you also deny the fact that you have been ILLEGALLY experimenting on our Extraterrestrial brethren in an attempt to see if transplanting genetically incompatible skintones is a possibility?

That is the most RIDICULOUS thing I've ever heard! What kind of court IS this?!

I demand to see my lawyer. You guys can't keep me here. You are making a mockery of the judicial system!

You don't deserve a lawyer. Yes, I can keep you here. And ... yeah, I'm mocking the judicial system. But the evidence against you is overwhelming. The Court of ManBeasts has document AND photographic evidence that implicates you in crimes against other sims that ultimately has resulted in their demise. The evidence in this matter is irrefutable.

Do you deny that is you standing in a yard filled with graves of those sims who you have attempted to genetically manipulate?

I ... uhh ... where did you find that? I thought I'd ...

Joe Schmoe, I, the Captain of the Minionettes hereby find you GUILTY of the crimes that have been brought against you. And now for the fun part ... your PUNISHMENT! (*evil gleam*)

Is ... uhh ... that really necessary? I'm pretty well-off. Can't I just pay some sort of restitution to their families and promise never to do it again?

HA!! You are a laugh RIOT! But to answer your question - NO! Instead I plan to strip you of your clothes.

WHAT?!

And put you in some new ones.

Oh ... *whew* ... that's okay. Umm ... kinda drafty, but comfortable. That's pretty lenient and kind of you. Thanks. Umm ... is that all? May I go now?

And ... I strip you of all of your simeoleons. You are as poor as dirt now and can no longer use your substantial wealth to harm others.

Don't you think that's a bit much? Well ... never mind. With my mind, I'm sure I can rebuild my Scientific Empire.

Not bloodly likely ... considering I also plan to strip of you of all of your knowledge and skills. You don't know jack shit.

Now wait just a minute! That's hitting below the belt! KNOWLEDGE is my mistress! How can you just ... take it from me! This is an outrage! You can't do this to me. I'll SUE!

You can't sue. You're poor, remember? Also ...

You mean there's MORE?! What more can you people do to me, huh?! You've already taken away everything that I've held dear for my entire life!!

Not everything. Consider yourself removed from your home and all those who knew you. You are exiled to a new place, an empty place known as Belladonna Cove - Mark II. A short time ago, there was a strange epidemic going around where everyone started committing suicide. As a result, that place is completely empty - save for the buildings. I banish you there to start a new life.

PHEH! Do you think that will stop me? I can just relearn everything. I will be back on top in no time.

No, no I don't think so. You see, in addition to taking your money, your knowledge and skills and your home ... I'm also taking everything that made you ... well, YOU. We are wiping your slate clean, Joe Schmoe. You won't remember your former life, your former aspirations, your former goals. Hell, you won't even know the name Joe Schmoe ... cuz it won't be your name. This is your new beginning. Hopefully, you won't disappoint us.

No! NOOO! You can't DO this to me!!

Watch me.

*Whispering ...*

Hi. How ya doin'? So ... sorry about the drama before, but this guy was getting out of hand. Imagine cloning people and then killing not only the clone but the original as well. That's just plain MEAN! Anyway, we've wiped his slate and plan to give him a new start.

His name's Joseph Schmoepova now. He's still a Knowledge sim and he's also a Pisces (5, 4, 7, 2, 7). He seems to have a thing about Vampires and Hard Workers. He likes those lots. However, he's not so crazy about Gray Hair. He also has departed from his previous ambition of Ultimate Knowledge with the desire to become a Prestidigitator (LTW). Interesting!

Let's see how he does. Hopefully, we won't have to kill him. He's too good lookin' for total obliteration. I'll be keeping an eye on him from afar, but for the most part, this is his beginning, his story. Let's let him tell it. Buh-bye!

*Ends whispering ... grins and waves*

UPDATES:

01/23/2009 - Chapter 1-1: Be it ever so humble ...
01/27/2009 - Chapter 1-2: Revelations
01/28/2009 - Chapter 1-3: Settling In
01/30/2009 - Chapter 1-4: A Night on the Town
02/03/2009 - Chapter 1-5: As Luck Would Have It
02/07/2009 - Chapter 1-6: No Place Like Home
02/08/2009 - Chapter 1-7: Going Stir Crazy
02/09/2009 - Chapter 1-8: Workin' for a Livin'
02/10/2009 - Chapter 1-9: Wonderful Tonight
02/12/2009 - Chapter 1-10: What Brings Us Together
02/19/2009 - Chapter 1-11: Circling Storks
02/28/2009 - Chapter 1-12: And Baby Makes ...
03/12/2009 - Chapter 1-13: Magickal Mayhem and Mushy Matters
03/20/2009 - Chapter 1-14: Of Burglaries and Birthdays
04/04/2009 - Chapter 1-15: Educational Stress
04/06/2009 - Chapter 1-16: Family Time
04/07/2009 - Chapter 1-17: Close Encounters
04/08/2009 - Chapter 1-18: And Speaking of Birthdays ...
04/08/2009 - Chapter 1-19: Special Delivery
04/24/2009 - Chapter 1-20: An Update ... of Sorts
05/09/2009 - Chapter 1-21: I Love My Family
05/09/2009 - Chapter 1-22: Preparations
05/18/2009 - Chapter 1-23: Buns in the Oven and Cakes on the Counter
05/18/2009 - Chapter 1-24: Busy, Busy, Busy
06/25/2009 - Chapter 1-25: Moving Up and Moving On
01/21/2010 - Chapter 1-26: Personal Growth
01/22/2010 - Chapter 1-27: Catching Up With the Family

Catching Up With the Family

2010-01-22T13:41:00.004-05:00

Hello, peeps! Josephine is back and updating you once again on the goings-on in my life. This time around, I'm going to share some things that have been going on back at home. Lots of stuff going and I'm just the kinda sim to expose you all to the craziness.

First of all, everyone has a birthday coming up. PARRRRR-TEEEEEH!!!

Second of all, my lil' bro (you remember him, right? Green? Pointy ears? Cute as a button?) ... he's been doing some phenomenal things in school.

Mom has been working on dad's garden more than dad himself. And speaking of dad ... umm ...

Certain things haven't been going so great for him. I'm only hoping that with his temper that he doesn't do anything to revenge himself on those who caused his failure. I'm starting to wonder if he'll do anything (ANYTHING) to reach that career goal of his. :O\ But that's too depressing to think about. Instead, I wanna focus on something good for a minute or two:

My little brother.

He's not so little anymore. And what's with the camouflage? I think when I transitioned to a teen, I also had on a pair of camo pants. He must REALLY look up to me. *grin*

For a kid who spent a lot of time by himself, I'm actually a little surprised by the choice in his primary interest.

And his secondary choice. *blinks* You think you know a guy, and then he pulls a complete 180 on ya. *shakes head*

One of the boys in the hood also joined the ranks of teens running rampant in the neighborhood.

And just like me, dad got Jake a car. But ... he's gotta be a man about it and get it running on his own. I think Jake is happy for this. I think he might've been annoyed to have an old, broken down jalopy. This way, he gets to make a MAN-MOBILE. And considering that he's a Family/Pleasure kinda guy, having decent wheels is kinda important, especially later in life.

Mom gave him some money for his birthday to go down into town to get himself whatever he wanted.

I'm thinking he didn't have enough to get this gal. *snicker-snort-cackle-choke*.

He did, however, have enough to buy himself some new threads and get himself made over. Is my brother hot or what? He's gonna be beating the girls off with a stick!

Maybe he should carry around a stake-like-stick instead. O__o

My baby brother, mom and dad weren't the only ones in the household expecting a birthday. Janie became an elder dog in a flash of sparkles.

Too bad though. We didn't really work with her much, and she never had a career. A girl's gotta have a career. I guess she was more of a stay-at-home-mom (nothing wrong with that either!). :O) Max didn't mind that she became an 'old girl'.

And speaking of birthdays, we ... uhh ... have a new pet in the house.

I'm ... uhh ... not quite sure what to make of this new development in my dad's ongoing need to expand his magical capabilities.

Jake doesn't seem to mind though. Maybe its the green glow - it goes with his skintone. Heh! ^__^

And then there's mom. As a birthday present to herself, or rather through the intervention of a grateful coworker ...

... she came home with a raise, a promotion and the completion of her goal. Way to go, mom!

I came home to help her celebrate in style.

It was a small party, but a wonderful celebration of her riding the gravy train into her golden years. Happy birthday, mom!!

And some friends of hers came along for the ride!

Dad wasn't there, of course (working hard again), but ... for the most part, a great time was had by all. And ... for my own part, I would have to say it was great spending time with Jake. Soon, he'll either head off to college (like me), or he'll forgo college and start making his way in the world as a respectable adult. But until then, I'm gonna show him what it's like to have fun!

Peace and Cheerios!

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Personal Growth

2010-01-21T08:03:00.002-05:00

Well. I feel like it's been a really, REALLY long time since I last posted to what dad told me he renamed "The Schmoepova Family Blog". A lot (A LOT) of stuff has been going on in the family. The last entry was mine and I've changed so much since that post. I guess there's nothing for it except to go ahead and post this update. Someone's reading this blog, since the site's stats are showing stats above zero ... so that someone is probably getting impatient on the goings-on.

The taxi pulled up in front of the place that I planned to make my home ... for a little while at least. I think all freshman should have the dorm experience before they decide if they want to move into different housing ... whether it be an apartment or a sorority or fraternity ... or whatever.

Dad was busy with work, so mom was the one who accompanied me.

Lydia: Well, here it is, Jo ...

Josephine: Yeah ... It's a lot bigger than what the brochure showed.

Shortly after I said that, a strange tingling sensation began to travel up and down my body, zinging up my arms and legs and all over and through my skin.

Ah. It's good to be a Young Adult in a sim world.

Lydia: Do you have everything you need?

Josephnie: Yeah. I just have to go in and claim a room and then the college moving and storage place will bring all of my stuff in.

Lydia: How the times have changed. When my generation went off to college, they had to bring and move in their stuff by themselves.

Josephine: Dang!

Lydia: I know!

Then mom got quiet ...

... before she grabbed me in a hug so tight that I could barely breathe.

Jospehine: ... *gak* Mom ... can't ... breathe ...!

Lydia (*choked whisper*): You ... you be sure to call us if you need anything. Anything at all. Doesn't matter what time of day it is, okay. Just ... call us.

Josephine: ... I will, mom. I promise.

And I hugged her back ... just as tightly.

I could feel mom's eyes burning into my back as I walked slowly towards my dorm. This was very exciting for me in a lot of ways. Well ... equal parts excitement and fear. But ... it was a test, a coming of age thing. Without turning around, I decided to give my mom an assurance.

Josephine: I'm gonna do great things here mom. I'm going to grow into a great woman. I can feel it. My experiences are are really gonna change me for the better. So don't worry!

Of course, when I turned around to give her a winning smile, that was when one of the campus' cheerleaders decided it would be a great idea to run past with such levels of cheer and manic energy that she could probably fuel a power station.

This little ritual did NOT assure mom. Not. One. Bit. It was still kinda funny though. Mom left shortly thereafter, and I entered my dorm to get my room all squared away.

I chose one of the few rooms that already had a computer installed (courtesy of the college to promote internet technology growth in the young adults of today). I also made sure to lock the door. I'd heard rumors about sims not knowing the basics of privacy. The LAST thing I wanted was for some drunk frat brother pushing his way into my room when I'm fast asleep. Oh HELL no.

The Campus Movers then brought all of my stuff in. With some of my college scholarships, I was able to deck the place out so it felt more like home than a college dorm room. I felt it would make my transition easier.

Once that was all set, I decided to explore the dorm and check out my dorm mates.

Some of them are actually quite attractive.

Some of them I barely noticed.

And some of them I found to be great opponents in the war of chess.

Not one for doing things half way ... I decided that I would need to totally immerse myself in the college experience to really become part of it.

I'm talking ... TOTAL IMMERSION. :O)) Hopefully, these photos will not come back to haunt me. And I hope that dad does NOT blow a gasket if he sees them. *grin* Hehe!

In other news, my friend from my old part-time job decided to follow me to college.

Simmer's Note: I forgot this guy's name. And since I'm at work, I can't look it up. It'll have to wait, so be prepared for some [INSERT NAME] fun time!

His first order of business ...

Get some new damn clothes. His grandmother got him that outfit that he was dropped off in. Considering she was the one to see him off, he felt it would make the old girl feel good if he wore it. With her out of the way, he could assert his personal style.

He and I bonded over several meals of mac 'n' cheese.

And he and I became really good friends! The college experience is definitely good so far. But I'm only a freshman. Lots of things to do. Lots of things can happen. I guess you and I will have to wait and see what happens next!

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Moving Up and Moving On

2009-06-25T10:15:00.003-04:00

Hello, hello to all of you sims out in cyberspace! Josephine again.

Dad's been ... umm ... overly occupied as of late, so he left it to me to keep the world updated on our family's goings on.

Come to think of it, I have NO idea why he wants to blog about our family. I mean, who cares? Everyone has their own lives to live, and so do we. But ... *shrug* ... what do I know? I'm just a kid, right?

WRONG! I'm a TEENAGER. I'm practically an adult! I've got adult needs like making my own money.

And getting PROMOTED!! WOOT!

Not to mention the fact that someone around here needs to keep an eye on things around the property. There are some REALLY weird (not to mention RUDE) people running around this burg.

Josephine: OY! What's the DEAL, dude?! You better be glad my dad is buried inside the house, or you'd be in BIG trouble!

Dude: Ha! What's he gonna do to me? If he's inside and I'm out here, he can't do a thing. Go back to your Simmie Dolls, girlie.

Josephine: Wha-? Why you ...!! Uh oh ... here comes dad.

Dude: *snort* I'm not afraid of your old man.

Josephine: You soon will be. Oh yes, indeed!

I rushed inside before the fur really started to fly. Besides, Jake needed my help with his homework. He's a pretty smart kid that Jake. He's doing pretty well in school and he's pretty well-adjusted. I think that's my influence. *nods*

Cuz my dad ...

He's totally OUT OF CONTROL!! I hope the neighbors don't do anything drastic to him for his recent behavior.

Remember how I was saying that I'm a teenager, practically an adult with adults needs?

Well, I have adult desires, too.

This is a coworker. Isn't he cute?

He's got a really good head on his shoulders, too. I like him. I dunno if I like him enough to DATE him, but ... he's a nice guy.

Just don't tell my dad. I don't know WHAT he would do. He's a bit overprotective of the family.

One thing I will give dad props for ... he is making some pretty neat stuff for his ... "bat cave". Hehe. I'm not really allowed in there, but I sneak in sometimes when he's at work. But SHH! Don't tell him!

That, and he knows how to garden like a MAD FIEND! Although, it's pretty weird to see someone talking (out loud) to their plants.

But getting back to dad ... he's REALLY been getting into his ... umm ... "crafting" of late.

And he's got the green skin to prove it.

Unfortunately, this increase in his "abilities" has also shortened his already short fuse. I fear that one day, he may go too far!

I think I may suggest counseling or anger management or something ... when he's in a better mood. I may be family, but that doesn't mean that he won't do something ... especially with dad in this ... err ... "condition". Mom ... she takes a pretty hands-off approach to dad and his "hobbies", which is probably a good thing. But at the same time, they aren't as close as they used to be when I was a kid. Are they headed for divorce? No, I don't think so. At least ... I don't think it's too late for them to fix any broken bridges. I will keep my eye on them though.

Well ... time marches on, as "they" say. And I've been feeling the itch, the burn to get out of the house and seek higher learning opportunities.

On my way to the bathroom, I overheard dad on the phone with his friend John Doe saying that he had a feeling that "the time had finally come". I originally thought he might have been talking about world domination or something. I had no idea (at the time) that he was talking about me.

So when I finally worked up the nerve to tell him that I thought it was high time I headed off to the university, I was surprised at how calm he appeared.

Mom, on the other hand, came running in (learning optimizer in hand) when she heard me talking to him. I guess she had a motherly feeling that her baby bird was about to fly the coop.

Joseph: Do you think you have all of your school credits and things in order? Are all of your scholarships situated with the registrar's office? What about your dorm?

Josephine: Daaaaad! I'm not stupid you know. I had all of that stuff taken care of WEEKS ago!

Lydia: Your father just wants to make sure that your transition to college goes smoothly, sweetie.

Josephine: I know, I know ... but sheesh! Give a girl some credit!

It really was sweet that he was worried about my well-being and all, all things considered. I guess I was worried for nothing. :O))

And you know what? I think that maybe having one less kid in the house will give mom and dad some bonding time. That'll be good.

But anyway ... when next you see me, I'll be at the university! I am so STOKED!! Mom wants to accompany me even though I told her I'd be fine on my own. But she wouldn't hear of it. She said she wanted to help me decorate my dorm room since dorm rooms always looked like something out of an insane asylum. Heh! And dad has practically bullied me into keeping up with the family weblog from college so ... you haven't heard the last to Josephine Schmoepova! Until then!

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Busy, Busy, Busy

2009-05-18T19:53:00.004-04:00

Things have been beyond busy in the household lately.

Lydia has been working tirelessly trying to get that Head Coach position.

Of course, she has to be careful of little setbacks. Good thing she's got a good head on her shoulders, or this could have been her!

But ... even if it had been her who made the wrong choice ...

... like this choice obviously was, she stumbles a bit, but she always gets back up, dusts herself off, and continues moving forward. I love that about her.

And that gung ho attitude of hers pays off, too. That's what hard work and dedication gets you. Yessir!

Lydia is working her way up, and so am I.

Yup. I am most certainly not slacking in the promotion department either ... even though I have other "projects" going on around me. While my "projects" are important to my end goal, I also seek to reach that ultimate pinnacle of entertaining the masses - Prestidigitator.

While Lydia and I work on our adult skills, Jake is working on his child skills, finding what interests him.

He seems to have acquired an aptitude for building from someplace. Granted, he does have his little setbacks, but like this mother, he keeps trying.

And look at the end result! O__o I was actually pretty amazed that he put something like this together ... before immediately knocking it down again. Kids!

Jasper has become an adult during all of this buzzing about our home.

He's a bit of a handful though. And I wonder about his mental capacities. He's kinda ... well ... stupid. Dog won't eat until he's practically weak from starvation. *shakes head* Hopefully his offspring will be better.

And Josephine, my baby girl ... has suddenly become interested in BOYS. I'm definitely NOT ready for that!

Sometimes I wish I could just ... freeze time. Hmm ... I wonder if that's possible ... *ponders* ...

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Buns in the Oven and Cakes on the Counter

2009-05-18T19:28:00.004-04:00

Howdy, peeps! Josephine Schmoepova back with you once more. Dad's ... umm ... a bit busy right now, so he said I can update the family blog again. Go me!

Seems that Max and Janie were successful in their little tryst. We're gonna have PUPPIES!!

She had two adorable puppies that we named Jasper and Minnie

Note: I THINK the female's name is Minnie ... I forget. :">.

Unfortunately, dad said that four dogs and three humans was a bit too much to handle. So ... we called the pet adoption place to come take one of them. Dad said he wanted to keep one so that when we lose Max and Janie, we'll be able to try to continue breeding their line. Didn't know dad was into breeding. *scratches head*

Mom decided that we'd keep Jasper. He seemed to have the most personality ... or so she thought.

Max really is cute with his son.

And he towers over the little guy so much. It's amazing how small he is.

I guess it's kinda like me and Jake. I tower over my little brother like Max does over Jasper.

But not for long! Time has passed so quickly once more and it's once again time for Jake's birthday. I can't believe I won't be able to toss him in the air anymore. *pout*

But ... at least I still get to usher him into his childhood. Dad and mom said I did such a good job with him when he transitioned to toddler that I might as well do this one as well.

Although ... dad kinda missed this one. He had to work. *pout*

Jospehine: Are you gonna be a big boy today, Jakey? Gonna blow out your own candles this time because your ancient sister doesn't have the lungs anymore?

Jake: Lungs! BLOW!

And look at that. That right there ... is blackmail material for the next hundred years. *evil grin*

But he really is a cutie ... even with his green banana jammies and bear slippers. *snicker-snorts*

Jake: Ooh! That's a HUGE cake! Is the cake all mine? Do I get to eat it all by myself? Can I smear it all over my face like I did when I was younger? Granted, I don't want anyone wiping off my face like I'm a little baby. I'm a MAN now. YIPPIE!

Josephine: There goes my peace and quiet. *deep sigh*

He grew up into a pretty well-adjusted kid if I do say so myself. I played a hand in that, y'know.

Mom didn't waste ANY time in trying to get him into Belladonna Prep.

It only took one time this time ... lucky kid. I'm scarred for life cuz I didn't make it in the first time cuz of mom's migraine ... but Jake, the little scamp, got in with no muss, no fuss. Of course, my being an exemplary student probably helped pave the way. He owes me ... BIG time!

When dad came home, he immediately set out to get Jake ready for life in the area's best private school. I'm not sure Jake enjoyed the experience.

Life is bound to be interesting with this guy under foot, asking about everything under the sun. But that's okay. As his big sis, I'm here to make sure he learns all there is to know about ... well ... everything! Until next time!

Note: Yeah, that's little Jasper being clutched in Jake's hand. Gotta love the glitches! *LOL*

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Preparations

2009-05-09T15:40:00.006-04:00

Chance situations are something that every sim dreads. Many times, it can be as simple as a choice between getting the final promotion to one's dream job, or the shattering of all hopes and dreams.

For me, this is a sign of things to come. I need to buckle down ... I need to prepare.

A touch of wyrm's tail ...

A dash of eye of newt ...

A pinch of frog's brain ...

And ... yes! The perfect reaction to the mixture!

Yes ... that tastes just about right.

Oh, yes! This is gonna be good! Heh-heh-heh-heh!

Just a few more ingredients and then I can start taking steps. But first ... I need to double-check that everything is as it should be.

Let's see ... no, no ... not that one.

Ah. Here it is ... the perfect potion ...

... to deal with those who are getting on my last nerve. *grumbling* Can't believe she left my son, my SON, outside in the snow!

Since coming to Belladonna Cove (Mark II), I have come to place value on certain things, because you just don't know when it might get taken away. My family is the one thing that I value above everything ... even my own life.

My son, who came to me in a way best left to science fiction novels, is special to me because I brought him into the world.

And Josephine, she is a part of me and the woman that I love.

The two of them together are my treasures ... greater value than anything I could ever dig up in my yard.

And Lydia is my crown jewel.

I don't know what I would do if anything happened to her ... which is why I wish she would call a repairman when the trash compactor breaks down.

I will do everything in my power to make sure they are protected from whatever the world throws at them. Though he is old, Max makes a very good watchdog.

He keeps the unsavory characters away.

I do not take threats towards my family lightly. No nanny, no vandal, no CotM will get in my way. I must prepare. I don't know what the future holds, and I certainly don't know if my attempts will yield the desired results, but ... I have to try.

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I Love My Family

2009-05-09T12:28:00.006-04:00

Greetings, blogging fans! Jo Schmoepova coming to you from the family bathroom. Man, I absolutely love technology! It makes it so much easier updating my blogs with this handy-dandy little gadget. I just talk into it, and it types up the words for me for later publishing. It makes it easy to wash the dog and blog at the same time. Heh. But I digress. Dad said I could post on the family blog site again cuz he's busy at the moment so ... here's me ... posting on the family blog site.

Recently, I had a little chat with dad about the dangers of break dancing without a license and he agreed that the youth of today needed to be more cautious about their activities, that they should take it upon themselves to take proper safety precautions. I love that about him. He listens to everything I say with such an open look of interest on his face ... even when what I'm saying is complete and utter crap. :O)

BOOYAH! Gotta love snow days. And what makes THIS the best snow day is that I get to stay at home and chill. The Academy thinks I'm too smart and thus any homework they give me wouldn't challenge me. So ... I haven't had any homework for like two weeks!

I've been spying on mom and dad a lot recently.

The two of them are just so cute ... it's kinda disgusting. :O)

And watching dad with Jake is all kinds of adorable.

My dad can be a pretty serious dude most of the time, but sometimes, you see him let loose like a little kid.

And to see such a strong guy like my dad handling such a little guy like Jake, it's really something. Y'know?

Guess who's birthday it is today?

Nope, it's not mine! Are you kidding! I'm not ready to leave my teen years yet. Besides, I'm still trying to decide about colleges. Nope, it's Jake's birthday! And I get to do the honors. :O)

Josephine: Who's gonna be a big boy today? Hmm? Who's it gonna be?

Jake: Goo! *gurgle* *dribble* *baby laughter*

Josephine: That's right! Jakey's gonna be a BIG boy today! Now ... is the big boy gonna help me blow out the candles?

Jake: Gaheee! *more baby laughter*

Josephine: Take a deep breath now and .... BLOOOOOOOW!

I gotta say ... watching someone transition from my position is ... amazing! Though, I do totally recommend sunglasses.

And I gotta say that my baby brother is adorable ...

... even if he does have pointy ears. I wonder if he'd object to me calling him "Spock" as a nickname ... *grin*

Here's some more "Dad and Jake" spam. The two of them are just all kinds of warm fuzzies to watch.

Now here's the picture of a man who's at the mercy of the child that he loves so much. Yup. :O) I wonder if he looked that way with me when I was a toddler.

Gotta say that it's probably a mutual thing though. :O) Besides, everyone in my family is very easy to love. Who wouldn't want to be at the mercy of that kind of feeling?

Anyway, dad wants his computer back now. He said he's gotta do some research.

I think he muttered something about vandals and all other annoying sims who get on a witch's bad side.

I think I recall overhearing him asking a coworker if he knew any spells to deal with nuisances. I dunno about you, but ... I don't recommend getting my dad mad. He's a great guy, very lovable ... but he's got a temper. Yup, yup! Anyway, I gotta go. Jake needs a bath. Until next time!

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An Update ... of Sorts

2009-04-24T19:58:00.004-04:00

tappity-tappity-tappity

*pause*

tappity-tap-tap-tappity

*pause*

tap-tap-tappity ...

DING!

CoTM has logged in

Joseph: Ohhh shiii ...!

CotM: Hello, Joseph. Long time no "see"!

Joseph: ...

CotM: I know you're there, Joseph. Your feeble attempt to ignore me by NOT logging in is an exercise in futility. I have my eyes and ears everywhere.

Joseph: ...

CotM: You have quite a lovely family, Joseph. A beautiful wife. A teenage daughter. And a newborn son. Would you rather I approached them instead?

Joseph: ... *sigh* ...

Captain ManBeast has logged in

CotM: Ah, there you are, Joseph. What took you so long to log in?

Captain ManBeast: I was working on my blog ... needed to save it first.

CotM: Mmm ... my "Spidey" senses are telling me that you're lying to me, but I'll let that slide ... for now.

Captain ManBeast: Is there something I can do for you? It's been quite a while since you last wreaked havoc in my life. What have I done to deserve to be in your "presence" once more?

CotM: My, my, MY! Someone is a bit testy this morning! Maybe you've caught a chill sitting in front of your computer with no shirt on. Why don't you go put on a shirt?

Captain ManBeast: I'm fine ... and how do you know what I'm wearing (or not wearing) anyway?!

CotM: I told you, Joseph. I have eyes and ears everywhere. I know what you've been up to.

Captain ManBeast: I can't say as I know what you're talking about.

CotM: Playing dumb are we? Well, let me refresh your memory.

CotM has attached three pictures

Captain ManBeast: Where'd you get those?!

CotM: I keep trying to tell you, Joseph, I have eyes and ears EVERYWHERE. When is that concept going to become ingrained in your brain?

Captain ManBeast: It's there now ...

CotM: Good! So ... 'splain, Lucy!

Captain ManBeast: What is there to explain? I'm learning REAL magic for my job. If I'm going to become a SimWorld famous Prestidigitator, I need to know all there is to know.

CotM: Hat and card tricks and making thing appear to float and cutting folks in half not enough for you?

Captain ManBeast: Bah! My goals are much more lofty than those. Most people out there, they're CON ARTISTS! HACKS! They do it for the value of entertainment ... for the value of the all mighty simoleon.

CotM: And what are YOU doing it for? Beyond wanting to become a Prestidigitator ... what's in it for you? What're you getting out of it?

Captain ManBeast: All very good questions. Let's just say I enjoy the thought of people looking at me in awe for my ability to do that which they cannot.

CotM: That's the stupidest answer I've ever seen travel across my computer monitor.

Captain ManBeast: Hey now!!

CotM: I'm wondering about ulterior motives, Joseph.

Captain ManBeast: I have no ulterior motives.

CotM: Time will tell, Joseph. Time will tell. In the meantime, keep aware that I am watching you ... ALL THE TIME. If I see anything that makes me believe you're backsliding ... I will take steps.

Captain ManBeast: Backsliding? What do you mean by that? Backsliding into what?

CotM: I'm really enjoying your blog, Joseph. Keep up the good work. Until next time!

Captain ManBeast: Now wait just a ...

CotM has signed off

Joseph: Damn ...

*pause*

tappity-tappity-tappity-tappity-tap-tap-tap ...

Things have gotten a little hectic in my household with the addition of another dog and another child. Some people may be scoffing at me thinking that a total of six household members is nothing to freak out about.

But if you'd seen what I've seen ... you'd be worried, too.

Janie and Max get along VERY well. It's like they'd never been strangers to one another.

It makes me happy that I was able to give this old dog a home and provided him with a family and a best friend in Janie.

But I certainly wasn't expecting THIS! This may make things even more interesting ... maybe. We'll soon find out!

Jake seems to like the crib that we are providing for his comfort. Although, the green might be a bit harsh for his eyes.

Everyone likes being around him. Josephine loves to hold him.

Even strangers want to hold him ... little charmer.

And the nanny loves to give him baths in the kitchen sink. Makes me wonder if he'll develop some sort of need to sponge himself off in the sink when he gets old enough to reach the taps.

And speaking of the nanny ... I think she and I may need to have words. I think we're paying her enough. To catch her STEALING for my coveted money trees ... UNACCEPTABLE. I may have to ... teach her a lesson ...

But aside from doggy love and baby love, things are fairly calm at the moment. Josephine is trying to stay on top of things in the music and dance scene. I'm wondering if she aspires to do something with either of these things ... maybe become an entertainer like her old man.

Whatever she decides to do with her life, I hope she knows that her mother and I are doing all that we can to provide for her, to make all opportunities available to her. Raises help with that.

Promotions are even better!

Outtakes:

As promised, I have all of Josephine's important information. She's primarily a Pleasure Sim ... and secondarily a Knowledge sim. That's why she had a good memory when she was abducted. And ... her LTW makes sense for a knowledge sim. :O) I'm still trying to decide if I want to reroll folks who go to college or not. Time will tell! ;O)

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Special Delivery

2009-04-08T20:16:00.008-04:00

Just for the record, I do NOT recommend this. I'm not going to go into the intimate details on how very difficult it is to clean one of these after upchucking into the toilet. The knowledge is definitely NOT for sims with sensitive stomachs - that's for sure!

So ... with my last blog update you're all probably wondering what's going on with me after my "experience" with our Extraterrestrial Brethren. *blinks* Hmm ... why does that phrase seem like ... deja vu? *blinks* Anyway ... I've been feeling fairly ill, tired, hungry and achy. I try to get to the balance bar whenever I can.

It relaxes me ... clears my head ... opens my mind. And if there's one thing I need right now, it's an open mind.

Because I think I've been given a package to care for.

It's an interesting experience being "with child" (as Jo-jo likes to tease me about from time to time). I just don't think it's "natural" for a man to be pregnant. It feels weird. Our bodies weren't made for this kind of abuse.

Lydia and Josephine are absolutely loving it though. I think the hormones have made me go nutters ... because I let Josephine play with my hair. I don't think this hair style suits me at all. I'll be visiting a stylist myself to fix it.

Note from the Simmer: For some oddball reason, when he twirled into that maternity outfit, his hair changed. Go figure!

With this impending delivery looming on our respective horizons, we all try to stick to our routines.

Lydia has ramped up her workout regimen as she barrels forward for that final goal of Hall of Famer.

Note from the Simmer: Yes, you see correctly. The kitchen is finally its own room. YAY!! I'll have to remember to give a "tour" later of the house. It's coming along nicely. I have some housing plans in mind for it, but they don't have the money at present to really get what I'm going for.

After many weeks, Max FINALLY returned. In all that time, I decided that our house could handle another dog.

And Janie was so easygoing, I felt that the two of them would get along just fine.

They really do get along together.

I'm afraid I didn't realize that Max was an older dog, but that's okay. Lydia heard about this experimental dog food that's meant for more mature dogs. We feed him a bowl of it every now and again. It makes him feel young in his old age.

I don't like this. I don't like this AT AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALL!!!

How do women DOO THIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIS!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!

I am pleased to tell you all that it was, thankfully, a short labor. And before I could scream up my lungs, my son, Jake, was born. I could tell that the experience of being on the other side of things for a change was a shock for Lydia. I have to admit, I am curious as to what it looked like from her point of view.

His green skin looks very much like John Doe's. I wonder ...

But he really is quite adorable for a hybrid.

Joseph: Hello, Jakey-boy, I'm your daddy! Or ... am I your mommy? Hmm ... this could be confusing.

I think I'd better go phone John. I'm sure he'll be full of advice for a new parent like me.

One thing that I am immensely pleased, and relieved, about is that Jo-jo absolutely adores her little brother. No signs of jealousy or anything like that. I think things are going to get really interesting in our household from this point on.

Note from the Simmer: As of now, I am caught up to my game play. Thus, I'm going to have to play to generate more pictures. Hopefully, my picture taking will improve after this (gotta remember to put up more lights).

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And Speaking of Birthdays ...

2009-04-08T19:35:00.007-04:00

Hi, there. Josephine Schmoepova speaking. Dad said that I could write on his blog to update his readers on what's been going on with the family lately. He'd write himself, only he's not feeling so well. But that's news for another post. I'm here to talk about me ... cuz dad said I could.

First ... a little bit of advice. If you're hot, don't go for a long hike. Otherwise you could end up looking like my mother.

You could end up in the same predicament she ended up in, which is not a good predicament to be in.

Heatstroke is no joke!

I mean, do you know how shocking this was for me to see ... as a child? Granted, I'm no longer a child, but still!

I've probably been scarred for life now. *sarcasm* Way to go, mom! *end sarcasm*

I was, after all, the one who found her passed out on the sidewalk in front of the house when I got home from school. Some birthday present. *sniff-snort*

Good thing I'm so levelheaded.

I'd read about heatstroke in the library for a school project. I knew exactly what to do.

My relief was palpable. Mom hadn't a clue what had happened to her, and I wasn't about to mention it. I just calmly walked into the house and changed out of my uniform. I would have worked on my homework to take my mind off of things, only I didn't have any. Teachers don't always give their students homework, you know.

But anyway, as I said ... mom passing out on the front lawn was my birthday present. She was so worn out after episode, and dad was still at work ...

... that I had my birthday out in the garden ...

... all by myself.

Dad's timing - punctual as usual. He missed me transitioning from child to teen by a fraction of a second. *sarcasm* Go, dad! You totally rock. *end sarcasm*

Of course, I'm just being a typical teenager, blaming my parents for all the bad in my life. To tell the truth, I've had a pretty good life so far. I really don't have any complaints.

And dad hadn't completely forgotten about my birthday - what with being ill and all. He bought me a used car as part of my birthday gift!

I absolutely love it! It's so ME! Way to go, dad! You ROCK!

As the second half of my present, mom (yes, the heatstroke chick) got me a coupon for a free styling at a local hair salon. It also included makeup tips. And she also got me a gift certificate at one of the local clothing stores. Thanks, mom! You're pretty cool!

Stylist: Hello, young lady! So you're a birthday girl, eh? Shall I give you something that absolutely screams maturity and sophistication?

Josephine: You can try anything you like as long as you are aware that if you make me look ridiculous, I'll have my father do something nasty to you.

Stylist: ......

I can't tell you how thrilled I was to be getting made over. My look prior to this was so ... I don't know what! It was just all wrong for me.

THIS was much more ME! (Granted, the makeup does make me appear rather pale ... might have to do something about that later.)

Josephine: Congratulations! You get to keep your skin!

Stylist: I'm glad you're pleased!

After that, I headed to the clothing store to get an outfit that matched my new mature and sophisticated look. Then I went home. Still pretty wound up from all the excitement (new car, new hair, new face, new clothes), I decided to unwind at the telescope. There's nothing like looking up at the cosmos to put things into perspective.

Yeah - I got all kinds of perspective THAT night! *sarcasm* Happy Freakin' Birthday to me! *end sarcasm*

Lemme tell ya ... alien abductions = Highly OVERRATED! *hmph* I mean ... you get zipped off into a space ship ... stuff happens ... and then they toss you away like yesterday's garbage! And what do you get as a parting gift? Partial memory erasure of the experience. *sarcasm* Joy! *end sarcasm*

I am glad to know that I have two loving parents who worry about me when things happen. Although, I think dad was more pleased that he can now say he's not the only one. *snort*

I wasn't completely disgusted by the experience. As I said, it put some things into perspective for me - like the fact that we, as sims, are WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY outclassed. If they ever wanted to take over, they totally could!

In other news ... I decided to try my hand at breakdancing.

The neck brace comes off in a few weeks.

I'm glad that someone saw that my attempts at a new dance style were not wasted. I was inducted into the Music and Dance Club in town. Go me!

Anyway ... I've gotta go now. Mom and dad need me. And besides, I think my 100+ words a minute typing overheated dad's 'puter. I wonder if he'll notice ...

Note from the Simmer: Sorry, I didn't take any picture of Josephine's aspiration and other things. I can't recall even what her aspiration is (might be knowledge). Hehe! I'll try to remember for another post.

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Close Encounters

2009-04-07T09:14:00.003-04:00

You're probably wondering why I am calmly painting a picture while my wife appears to be dying on the kitchen floor behind me. You may also be wondering why Janie isn't pulling a Lassie and running for help.

Probably because she isn't dying. She's just training Janie to play dead. Every dog should know how to play dead. You just never know when it'll come in handy.

No, life is pretty calm at the moment. Josephine is doing very well in school.

Lydia is doing well in her job and hasn't had any migraines. She's in pretty good health - what with her daily workout regimens and whatnot.

I'm becoming more comfortable with the various aspects of The Craft.

And even though a recent promotion has put me in a rather uncomfortable situation ...

I try not to let it bother me. Josephine doesn't seem to mind ... much ... if I'm careful. Of course, being hugged my a metal man probably isn't the best of experiences for a child.

The canine population appears to be enjoying my front porch. I find it intriguing the different breeds roaming the neighborhood. This one actually has glowing eyes!

And this one ... I thought it was Max at first, but quickly realized it was a different dog. I quickly sent him on his way.

Yes, life has been pretty calm and pretty normal for me ... all things considered. It seems like it was only a short time ago that I was standing on a deserted plot of land with no idea who I was. Now I have a wife and a daughter and a dog ... and my career is going places. Life is good and uncomplicated.

Famous last words?

Though my daughter was excited ... she was also scared.

And actually crawled into bed with her mother. I think her view of the world ... the UNIVERSE has expanded a bit, as has all of ours. Who knew?!

It was certainly not anything expected on my part.

And the experience ... is not something I would want to repeat. But ... it was fascinating nevertheless!

It also made Janie overly curious about the world outside of her sphere. Poor girl got skunked after my return.

I'm sure it's a lesson she won't soon forget.

And speaking of unforgettable experiences ...

I'm growing concerned about my own experience. You see, after what happened, I went online and did some research. If what I read is true ... things are about to get a little bit more complicated for my family.

OUTTAKE:

I thought I'd post this for Arki ... since it's her birthday and all. :O)) Happy Birthday, girl! :OD)

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Family Time

2009-04-06T16:02:00.004-04:00

Josephine: Daddy? I caught a boot. What am I supposed to do with a boot? What's a boot doing in the pond anyway? Are there tires and other junk in the pond, too? Do we need to contact the EPA?

Joseph: I'm not sure where the boots are coming from, Jo-jo. Your dad has one on the wall above the couch. Maybe you could put yours up there, too. Maybe they belong to old, salty pirates or something who washed up on shore ... and over the decades, their boots got deposited in the pond.

Josephine: Pirates! NEAT!

Josephine is really growing into a child curious about the world around her. It makes me wonder what kind of adult she will become.

Josephine: DADDY! I caught a fish!

Joseph: Way to go, Sweetpea! Let me go get mommy. She'll want to see this!

Josephine: Wow! It's as big as ME!

Joseph: Hold it away from the water so it doesn't get away. I'll bring a net when I bring mommy, okay?

What happened to that precocious toddler that I used to read stories about bean bags who wanted to learn to play the xylophone? What happened to the tiny, squirming bundle that I used to be able to hold with one hand?

In the meantime, Max came back! I wonder if he would be good friends with Janie if I decided to take him in. This will require further thought on my part.

Sometimes when I look at Josephine, she reminds me so much of her mother. She's like a little clone almost ... though I think her personality is closer to mine than her mother's.

And speaking of Lydia ... work has been so crazy lately, forever it seems ... that I have come to the conclusion that I've neglected my wife for far too long. She and I need some US time. I will need to make plans.

In the meantime ... I feel there's nothing wrong with showering affection on her.

I don't think the serenade was too much ... but I think Lydia would disagree with me. But ... I've found something that I can use that will get her to forgive me anything. If I break into song and get down on one knee ... that's all it takes! Heh-heh-heh!

Though Josephine is new to the whole "higher learning" thing, she seems to have taken to her education like a sponge. She asked me to explain things in more detail than her teachers on more than one occasion.

I really enjoy spending "learning time" with my daughter. It's a bonding experience I will cherish when my daughter is yelling at me that I don't understand her - her teen years will be here before I'm ready ... I'm certain.

One thing I'm intrigued, and pleased, about is that Jo-jo has shown some interest in The Craft - as I call it.

Josephine: Daddy, the kids at school say that their parents say that you're a witch. Are you a witch daddy?

Joseph: I'm a male witch, yes, honey.

Josephine: Are you a good witch? Like Glinda the Good Witch of the North? Or are you a baaaaad witch - like the Wicked Witch of the West?

Joseph: ... Well ... The Craft has many shades, Jo-jo, just like all things in life. I think it's very closed-minded for anyone to pigeon-hole anyone into a category based on the opinions of others.

Josephine: Oh ...... what's "pigeon-hole" mean?

My daughter ... the overly curious one ... was very recently fascinated with a hornet's nest in one of the bushes near our house. I think she learned a very important lesson that day.

Lydia is really enjoying her career in Athletics.

But she comes home with the strangest people sometimes ...

I'm beginning to suspect that Jo-jo might have a bit of the clairvoyant in her. On more than one occasion I've heard her say to her mother, or she'll say to me, why we're doing something again when we've already done it. I've asked her on more than one occasion why she thinks these things, and she says it's because of the television pictures in her head. Interesting ...

I found her scribbling a picture at her arts and crafts table recently ... she drew a tree with lots of red and orange lines shooting up from it. When I asked her what abstract art she was drawing, she said it wasn't art, that she was drawing a fiery tree just like the one in the front yard. And that's when Lydia told me about a conversation she had with her earlier.

Josephine: Mommy, if a lightning bolt struck a tree and caught it on fire, would rain put it out?

Lydia: Where do you come up with these questions, sweetie?

Much to my astonishment, later that day, a lightning bolt really DID strike a tree in front of our house during a pretty vicious thunderstorm! How did Josephine know?!

OUTTAKE:

Had someone call the fire department since the rain didn't seem to be putting out the flames. When the fire dude showed up, he lectured poor Josephine about making prank phonecalls ... and fined the family. HELL-O! There's a FIRE out there man! Anyway, ended up having to delete the "fire object" on the tree and then the tree itself before putting a new tree up. Gotta love gliches! :O))

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Educational Stress

2009-04-04T09:12:00.003-04:00

Things have been a little bit hectic in our household since Jo-jo became a child who was ready to head off into the world of school and all aspects of education.

Lydia even got it into her head, during a rather stressful time she was having at work, to try to get our little girl into private school. I really would have liked to have been home at the time ... so that I could have greeted the headmaster of Belladonna Preparatory School. I don't thinking her having greeted the man in her pajamas was a smart move on her part.

And I think she had a migraine. Maybe she forgot that she'd invited the headmaster over. I don't know. All I know is that I really wish she'd waited until I got home from work. But then again ... I work rather late. Perhaps she could have waited until I had a day off.

Lydia's migraine must have gotten so bad at one point, because she later told me that Jo-jo ended up spending a lot of time with the headmaster because "mommy's head hurt".

So ... it really came as no shock to me ...

... that Jo-jo failed to get into the school. The headmaster was not impressed with anything ... though he did say that Jo-jo was an engaging young girl.

Lydia did not take it well.

And Janie didn't help matters either. I had to scold her about growling at folks for no reason. It's a lot of work training a pet.

But at least she's housebroken.

I pleaded with Lydia to go take some Simedrin Migraine medicine and go to bed. Everything would look better in the morning, I promised her.

My little girl would get into private school ... if it was the last thing that headmaster ever did. No one turns down a Schmoepova. No one.

The next evening ... the headmaster returned. He really didn't have a choice. I love the power I can wield over sims. I wouldn't call it torture ... not really.

Josephine: Mr. Headmaster, are you a contortionist?

Headmaster: My! How does a little girl like you know such a very big word?

I did fix things quickly ... even from a distance (I was at work). No one was the wiser. But I believe it was all Jo-jo, her and her impressive vocabulary because ...

... he decided to accept my little girl in Belladonna Prep.

Lydia was over the moon with excitement. Our little girl would head to that institution of higher learning on her very first day in school. She hadn't even attended regular public school. Yup - we were paving the way to success for my only child.

But it seems that everyone needs an education, especially willful young dogs.

It seems Janie needs to learn how to stay out of the dirt.

She really doesn't like taking baths, but ... she does obey when she is called (most of the time) when it's time to take a bath.

I was most pleased when I returned from work to find that everything and everyone was in good spirits.

A little bit of magick goes a long way. Especially when it comes to family. But ... don't tell Lydia. She would not be pleased to know I played a hand in "persuading" the headmaster. Heh. Good thing I learned a memory spell from Frances. It wouldn't do for the headmaster to remember what I did to him. It also wouldn't do for my little girl or Janie to recall how twisted he looked. That would cause questions to be asked.

Ignorance is bliss! Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh!

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... And Birthdays

2009-03-20T17:44:00.004-04:00

On the eve of Josephine's birthday, Lydia attempted to finish teaching her the important toddler skills to her.

Success was theirs!

And just for fun, and to take our daughter's mind off of our recent horror, she taught her some nursery rhymes.

And then it was time.

It was time to usher my daughter into her childhood.

Joseph: Make a wish and blow out the candles, Jo!

Josephine: Cake!

I gave my tiny one a kiss on her forehead, a kiss that I hoped help within it the power of luck in all things she endeavored towards. Then I stepped back and let her do the rest.

Before our eyes, our baby became a child.

While she dug into her cake (girl's got a sweet tooth a mile wide), I snuck outside to see about her birthday present.

This is Janie. I decided instead of waiting for Max to reappear, that I would get a dog. After the burglary attempt, I felt better knowing that we would have someone to guard us while we slept. And I thought she'd make a good companion for Josephine.

Granted, she was still very young ... and as such, we had some training to do.

I was quite certain she would be a welcome addition to the family though.

Although ... I did have hopes that someday Max would return. Perhaps he and Janie would get along and make puppies. Wouldn't that be nice?

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Of Burglaries ...

2009-03-20T17:13:00.005-04:00

My family seems to have settled into a kind of routine. Lydia heads off to work in the morning and is back by the time I get home from work. She's usually doing something with Josephine when I get home.

I typically take over parenting duties once I get myself settled while Lydia goes off to do something that interests her. I swear, it really does seem like the two of us are two ships passing in the night. I will have to do something to rectify that soon. But until then, I toil on in teaching Josephine all those skills she will need for her child era. Potty training came first.

Of course, interspersed with working and skilling and all other household things, sometimes we have to call in a repair-person to fix something. I certainly don't have the skills to fix the dishwasher. And I've heard rumors about the big appliances electrocuting people. No thanks!

I then taught my little Jo-Jo to talk.

Is it any wonder she said "Dada" first before "Mama"? *grin* However, life is never as simple as we make it out to be sometimes. There are the bright spots ... and then there are the dark ones ...

And in one dark moment ... a burglar descended upon our small home, seeking to shatter our peace of mind.

Thankfully, after my early conversations with Wanda Tinker on the possibilities of thievery (especially for a guy with no walls), I had taken the opportunity to thoroughly research home security systems. I bought one as soon as I had walls ... much to this burglaress' consternation and dismay.

Faster than you could say "Bob's your uncle," Belladonna Cove Mark II's finest was pulling outside of our house.

The burglaress didn't even have time to run before the policeman pounced!

The alarm and the sounds of a scuffle woke the whole household.

I don't understand the logic of someone putting up a fight. There was, after all, a 50% chance of losing. And that would mean you'd have "resisting arrest" on your record, too.

I figured this woman would learn that the hard way.

While the policeman took the time to read her "Rights" to her, I thought I'd be helpful and show them the quickest possible way to get the hell out of my house.

Joseph: Yeah, you look sorry now, don'tcha? That'll teach you to invade MY home!

Heh ... I hoped they clapped her in irons, tarred and feathered her ... and strung her up by her toenails. I couldn't begin to tell you the thoughts of punishment that streamed through my mind. Muahahahhahaaa!

Lucky for us ... the policeman was appreciative of our efforts to bringing a known criminal to justice. Go us.

But the damage had already been done. The event had been seared into all of our minds ...

... even the mind of my baby girl. I would NEVER forgive that thief. NEVER. If I ever saw her again, oh ... the TORTURES I would mete out on her! I could feel the magicks in me boiling at the thoughts I had of revenge.

Page 2

Mushy Matters

2009-03-12T21:06:00.004-04:00

I knew that it would probably take some getting used to ... for Lydia to see that the power awakened in me would be a benefit (or more) to our family. But she loves me. I just had to assure her ... and reassure her ... that nothing would go wrong.

Those first days after my ... "transformation" ... were probably the hardest on our new family. Perhaps it was too many changes at once - the baby and then my magick, but there was no going back now.

And speaking of Josephine, the days and months had flown by. Her birthday had sneaked up on us.

Though our finances were still on the minimalist side, Lydia and I got a cake for her.

Every child should have cake on their first major birthday. Our baby girl was transitioning into her toddler era.

And then before our very eyes, our little girl, in a spray of colored confetti ...

... became a beautiful little toddler-girl.

I wasted no time bonding with my little girl now that she was old enough to understand the worlds we muttered to her. I thought I'd start with a story. She seemed to enjoy it, I'm happy to report.

Joseph: Once upon a time, there was a happy little bean bag who wanted to grow up to be a world famous xylophone player ...

Josephine: Zyfone!

I also wasted NO time in teaching her the skills she would need as a toddler to move her successfully into her child era. Potty training was a MUST! Granted ... it's kinda boring for the teacher.

But I wasn't all work all the time. Recall that old dog that kept coming around? Well, he came back! I think I saw a collar that had a single tag on it that said "Max". He's a very friendly dog.

I wondered if a dog would be the ideal thing for our family - especially with a toddler in the house. He could guard her, look after her ... make sure she's safe.

I wondered if Lydia would like to have a dog. It's nice having something living to cuddle, especially since our jobs were really starting to pick up. There were times when she and I didn't get a chance to say more than two words to one another. Working ... and Josephine ... they kinda took away from "Adult Time". A dog might help. Maybe. I hope.

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Magickal Mayhem

2009-03-12T20:32:00.004-04:00

It might have been small, but I absolutely loved working in my garden. There was just something almost primal about letting the rich earth sift between my fingers ... aiding to bring more life into the world. There was something almost magical about it.

And even though it was small, my garden attracted many people to it. However, I would be the first to admit that my skill with such things was limitless, absolutely limitless! And that reminded me of a thought or two I'd had a while back. Would that I were magical ... how would it affect my garden? My life? Then I remembered someone who might be able to help me figure it out. I figured it was time for me to call Frances McCullough.

Needless to say, when I phoned her, inquiring about her "abilities", she came right over. She practically dropped right out of the sky ... much to my astonishment.

Frances: Greetings, Joseph. It is good to see you. I wondered if I would hear from you after our last encounter.

Joseph: Hello, Frances. I hope you've been well.

Frances: I could hear the eagerness in your voice so I flew right over. What is it that you wish of me?

Joseph: Well ... when I was watching you outside of the Crypt O' Night Club ... I thought that everything you did ... had such a mastery to it. It was like some sort of art form that you'd bent to your own devices.

Frances: What?!

France: The Magicks have nothing to do with art, Joseph! The Magicks are all about SKILL! They are all about Mind over Matter! Do not mistake the Magicks for such an abstract concept such as art!

Joseph: I ... I didn't mean to offend, Frances. I was just trying to state that you make it look so effortless ... and your skill is beyond exemplary!

Frances (peering closely): So ... you wish to learn my skill in the Magicks then? Is that what you wish?

Joseph: I ... well ... y-yes.

Frances: Very well, Joseph. I will teach you my ways in the Magicks, but not because you wish it. I sense something deep within you, Joseph, something that seems almost desperate for release, to escape. I will teach you my ways because I am curious about what chaos you may cause ... or prevent. Now ... stand there and hold the colored ball in the palm of your hand. Do you feel the weight of the ball? Do you feel the fibers that make up the weight of the ball? Do you feel the molecules that make up the fibers of the ball? Do you feel the particles that make up the molecules of the ball? Concentrate on all of these things in your mind's eyes, Joseph. Concentrate!

I concentrated just as she asked ... and faster than I would have imagined, the ball began to float above my palm. My eyes widened in shock, my mouth dropped open in astonishment.

Frances: That was excellent, Joseph. You have such raw talent. I can't wait to see what you do with it. Now stand absolutely motionless.

Joseph: What're you going to do?

Frances: I'm about to fully awaken the powers churning inside of you.

Joseph: Is this going to hurt?

Frances: Just let the power fill you, Joseph. Don't try to fight it. If you allow your body access to the world around you, allow your mind to remain open to it, it won't hurt at all. In fact, it will feel really good. If you resist ... I won't make any promises.

Joseph: Open my mind ... open my mind ... open my mind ...

I didn't know what was happening to me, but I could feel something deep inside of me ... like a wellspring of energy just build up to the point of overflowing. I could feel the energy in every cell in my body ... and it made me feel lighter than air. And then ...

POOF!!

Frances: Congratulations, Joseph.

I felt absolutely FANTASTIC! WONDERFUL! AMAZING! The power flowing through my veins made me feel high on life!

Frances: A New One is always in danger of letting the Magicks control him or her. You must wrest control. Yes, you are a vessel for the Magicks, but you are in charge. Always remember that ... and gain control, Joseph.

Joseph: I have control ... I have control ... I have the power ...

As I said this mantra to myself, I felt the energy dissipate within me, though I could still feel that it was there ... hovering as if it was a thought preparing to voice itself. I felt myself return to myself ... and the ground.

Frances: Excellent, Joseph! Excellent! It's been a very long time since I've seen someone grasp the Magicks as quickly as you have. You are well on your way I think.

Frances: Teaching always makes me thirsty. While I partake of the waters ... why don't you practice a bit ... get the hang of using your wand.

Joseph: Ooh ... a wand!

I felt like a kid in a candy store. I didn't know what I wanted to do, what I wanted to try. I, of course, had NO idea what I was capable of. I just ... accessed the energy within me ... and let it fly!

What occurred was beyond anything I ever could have imagined! The power ... the POWER!!! Muahahahhahahhaaaaa!!!

However, I don't think Lydia was as impressed with my new found powers as I was. But I was certain I could convince her that it would do nothing but benefit us ... in positive ways, of course.

Page 2

And Baby Makes ...

2009-02-28T11:01:00.003-05:00

It was a beautiful day in my neighborhood when I went outside to meet my carpool. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, my wife was inside - her stomach large with her advancing pregnancy. Yup ... all was a-okay with my world.

Of course ... there were some aspects of my life that were starting to irritate me. These strange lapses in memory. One moment in time, I was outside, heading to work ... and in the next moment, I was home from work (having just gotten promoted). Maybe it was time for me to see a doctor ...

I expressed some of my concern with a coworker of mine ... and he was bold enough to inform me that Jenna Bradshaw ... the woman with very poor hygiene who invited me out when I was still coming to terms with suddenly appearing on an empty lot in the middle of nowhere ... she was some sort of psychologist ... or psychiatrist. I was too astounded to ask for clarification. I quickly informed my coworker that I had no intention of seeing tat woman again. Someone who lapses with her personal hygiene would never be able to assist someone having lapses in memory. I was quite certain.

So ... putting my latest lapse behind me ... I focused on home matters ... like the modification of the kitchen. It's looking much nicer than what it used to look like. Of course, as luck would have it, I didn't have the opportunity to fully relish this domestic change.

Because elsewhere in the house, Lydia was about to perform another change in our domesticity!

We'd both gone to bed early, both of us exhausted (me from work, her from being pregnant). She'd been uncomfortable all day, and hadn't been able to relax enough to nap. Her painful moans woke me and I immediately sprung forth from between the sheets.

Lydia was in labor!! I'd always prided myself on having a fairly level head (fires being beside the point) ... but I found myself completely out of my depth in this situation. I'd never been around anyone in labor before (or that I could recall). I didn't know what to do to help her ... except to tell her to remain calm and do what Nature had intended all female animals to do since time immemorial.

And with a bit of muss ... and some fuss ... Lydia brought our child into the world. This small bundle of warmth is my daughter - Josephine.

I was so jittery with excitement that I left my wife alone in the bedroom holding our baby girl while I rushed to my computer to update my blog. I had no idea where my head was at.

I quickly realize the error of my ways ... and rushed back into the bedroom to be with wife and daughter. I began by congratulating Lydia on her efforts and her contribution to creating this new life. Then, with caution, as I didn't want to frighten this tiny creature, I approached.

Joseph (with awe): She's ... she's so small!

Lydia (chuckling softly): Newborns typically are.

I stared at Josephine for the longest time ... before Lydia, chuckling, asked ...

Lydia: Do you want to hold her?

Joseph: .... Yes ... Yes, please!

Babies ... smell so ... so GOOD! She was so warm in my arms and so soft. I felt my heart swell inside of my chest as it made room to house more love, love for my daughter.

I will be the first to admit that parenthood is a challenge. There's the frequent feedings and the diaper changes ... and all the other responsibilities and challengs that appear when one becomes a parent.

But neither Lydia nor myself would trade it for anything in the world.

The two women in my life - the most important treasure I could have ever discovered on this plot of land.

Yes. Life is good ... even for a mime.

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Circling Storks

2009-02-19T09:37:00.006-05:00

The night of our honeymoon was wonderful. Although, I now wish that the two of us had taken the day off from work. We both overslept ... being so exhausted from our rather vigorous and extended celebration of our marriage.

Simmer's Note: Yes, Lydia is nekkid in the background there. I have that hack that allows them to sleep nekkid ... *grins*

Lydia even ended up being late to work (I managed to make my carpool in time).

It's lucky for her that she has such a good reputation there ... or she couldn't have done me this favor. I love my wife. She's so good to me.

The sun was just starting to set when we both arrived home from work. We could tell that spring was coming, because the snowman I had built was starting to melt. She thought it looked a little bit like someone we'd seen walk by the house once or twice.

I was just about to comment on that when she made this interesting noise before dashing into the house.

Concerned, I followed after her ... she who made a beeline to the bathroom.

Joseph: Lyds, are you okay, sweetheart?

Lydia: I'm ... *MPH* ... okay ... *GAK* ...

As she knelt there on the hard bathroom floor, I began to worry that perhaps she'd picked up some bug ... the flu maybe. She did wear her good dress and heels out in a foot of snow last night. I, at least, had my legs covered. Maybe she caught a chill?

But shortly after cleaning up, she seemed fine. She assured me several times that night that she was okay.

Joseph: Are you SURE you're okay? Maybe we should call the doctor. It's better to be safe than sorry, you know.

Lydia: I really am fine, Joseph. Maybe I ate some bad shrimp or something at work.

Joseph: Well ... if you're sure ...

Lydia: I am ...

Maybe I was the worrying type. I just got married. I just got promoted. Things were going my way. Now would be the perfect time for Murphy's Law to drop an anvil on my happy bubble.

Lydia was the most important sim in my life and I didn't want anything bad to happen to her. After all ... we DID work in a hospital. A sick-person's haven. And with the latest flu epidemic floating around ... it was entirely possible she was incubating something nasty. I vowed to keep a close eye on her for any turns for the worse.

A large part of me already knew that Lydia knew how to take care of herself. She'd done it for a number of years before she walked into my life. I was certain that if she felt something was wrong ... she'd tell me.

She loved me after all. Sure, she probably wouldn't want to worry me, but I worry more when I don't know what's going on.

The next morning, she begged me to make her a bowl of macaroni and cheese ... for BREAKFAST. I nearly turned green at the thought ... but she said she had a craving for it. I wasn't about to deny her anything ... just to make certain that she kept up her strength. I didn't want her catching that bug going around Belladonna Cove (Mark II).

Even the local paper was saying something about something "going around". One minute, a sim felt fine and in the next moment ...

Uhh ... what was I ... where was? *scratches head* Uhh ...

Joseph: Lydia ... wasn't I just outside getting the paper?

Lydia: You brought that in a couple of hours ago, sweetie. Are ... are YOU feeling okay?

That was very odd. I knew I'd just been outside getting the paper. And now ... I was inside gathering simoleons from our small orchard of money trees. The episode sorta felt like that time when I returned home from the club. Strange. *scratches head*

I quickly put that odd moment in my life behind me. As I sat down to read the morning paper I found it. I finally FOUND it!! The career I'd been searching for since coming to Belladonna Cove (Mark II). ENTERTAINMENT. I knew that through that career field, I could finally reach my ultimate goal of being the SimWorld's greatest Prestidigitator! I was so excited and full of zeal and energy that I was promoted on my first day.

I slept like a log that night ... dreaming of the millions of sims I would mesmerize one day.

When I woke the next morning, it was to find Lydia already awake and staring at me, her dark as night hair spread over her pillow like a fan. Her expression was serious for such an early part of the morning. I blinked at her, waiting for her to say something ... knowing that she had something she wanted to say. She blinked back at me ... then she slid closer and rested her head on my chest. I put my arm around her and tucked her against me. She was quiet for a time before she started speaking.

Lydia: Joseph ...

Joseph: Mmm?

Lydia: How ...?

She stopped speaking and was silent for a minute as if gathering her thoughts together, then she hesitantly started up again.

Lydia: Do you ...?

She paused again and frowned, her expression frustrated. I squeezed her in a one-armed hug, silently urging her to continue.

Lydia: What do you think about ...?

When she stopped again, I became a little worried. What was it that she needed to tell me at such an early moment of the day that was causing her such difficulties in just forming the words? Attempting to fortify her courage, I kissed her temple gently and spoke softly into her ear.

Joseph: Lydia, what is it? I'm sure whatever it is can't be as bad or awful as you are making it seem by not getting out what you want to say. I'm sure whatever it is, we'll work it out together.

She was silent for a very short moment after that before she blurted out what was on her mind.

PREGNANT!!

I was the happiest birthday mascot in Belladonna Cove (Mark II). She'd been worried how I would react, since she and I had never really talked about having a family. We just got married after all. I couldn't be happier.

I could barely concentrate at work that evening ... wondering when we had conceived ... wondering if it had been that memorable moment in the photobooth on our first day. I also couldn't help but wonder what it was going to be like to be a father, to bring a little life into the world to mold and shape into a sim who would one day go out in the world to make a name for himself ... or herself. It all made me a little muddled ... and I ended up doing something ... rather rash.

Luckily ... it all worked out. I would make sure from that moment on that I'd have my head on straight. I was going to be a FATHER!!

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What Brings Us Together - page 2

2009-02-12T10:09:00.006-05:00

It was a beautiful ceremony with just us and the Creator as witnesses. She did express a minor concern that it was all just a dream, not to mention not binding. I assured her that I had checked into things earlier. It was all quite legal and binding and we only needed to file a copy of the signed Wedding certificate at the courthouse.

I did express to her my regret that I couldn't afford to take her on a honeymoon to someplace wonderful ... like a tropical island ... or the orient ... or a beautiful mountain lodge, but she assured me that just being with me was honeymoon enough. Right then, I vowed that as soon as we could afford it, I would take her somewhere to celebrate "Us".

While she made herself comfortable in our bedroom, I stared out into the night, my mind whirling with all that had happened to me since stepping out of that taxi cab. So far ... this was the best night of my life. And it was about to get even better.

We both settled ourselves on the bed ... and stared at the wall for what seemed like forever. Both of us were nervous about this next step. Even though we had already been intimate with one another (I would never be able to look at another photobooth without remembering that moment), I didn't know about her, but I felt like a virgin. I wanted to make tonight wonderful for her, and I felt the pressure of NOT screwing it up. It was our wedding night after all. Once again, it was Lydia who broke the ice. And she broke it in a BIG way.

Lydia: I want you to kiss me now, Joseph.

Joseph: Right now?

Lydia: Yes, right now.

Who was I to argue with a woman who knew what she wanted? I was just her husband. *grin*

Lydia smelled so good and she fit perfectly in the circle of my arms.

Her body was so warm against me.

And when I leaned forward to kiss her, I saw the desire in her beautiful eyes. It caused my blood to boil and become inflamed.

I kissed her gently ... initially.

But that was just a prelude. That one touch of her silky lips against mine was enough to snap my control.

I slowly and gently pressed her against the bed, hovering over her, my eyes dark with passion.

Then I kissed her more deeply than I had ever kissed her before. I wanted to crawl inside of her and never leave.

Hours later ... many, MANY hours later, we lay together, sated ... for the moment. She looked at me with that small smile of hers, and I gazed at her out of the corner of my eye ... smug and pleased.

Then we snuggled, both of us quiet and enjoying being close to one another. I didn't think my life could get any better than it was right at that moment.

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What Brings Us Together - page 1

2009-02-12T09:31:00.005-05:00

Just a little head's up. The following images, and the images for the foreseeable future, were taken with GunMod's Radiance Lighting System activated. The images might be a little dark. I do apologize for that. I have yet to get the lighting scheme right so it doesn't happen. I have downloaded some of the "Recommended" things ... but I have yet to place them in my game. Again, my apologies for those who find the images too dark. It's going to take me some getting used to ... y'know ... before I get things just right. :O)

It certainly was different having someone else in the house with me. Up until just yesterday, I was all alone in a house that was rapidly becoming too large for one sim. Then ... Lydia came. She became such an important part of my life when I was rapidly becoming afraid that I would be alone forever.

Lydia Vu - a woman I had met only once before ... then asked out when we met for the second time, a date that was a fantastic dream, was now (for all intents and purposes) my roommate. Though, she was so much more than just my roommate.

In a very short span of time, she had become very dear to me.

Minute-by-minute, I found myself reading things that would help me determine what was the best possible next step for us, for our relationship. And it was a relationship. As I said, Lydia was so much more than just a "roommate". Dare I say that she might have even become my "soulmate"?

I found myself calling my good friend John Doe ... to ask for his advice on this new situation, this new predicament I suddenly found myself in. He suggested that I cook her a nice, romantic dinner ... then propose to her. MARRIAGE?! I will admit, my heart seized for a split-second when that word passed over the fiber optic cables into my ear. But then ... it was as if a light suddenly came on.

Umm ... definitely the WRONG kind of light!! I will admit that my cooking skills were not the greatest ...

... but this was totally the antithesis of romantic! A fireplace with a roaring fire, sure! But my stove?!

I was very embarrassed to admit that my reading up on fire safety totally flew out of my head when I was presented with the situation. Thank the Creator for fire alarms. And thank the Creator for Lydia, who had a really calm, cool head on her shoulders. She was the perfect woman for me.

After we had both cleaned ourselves up a bit ... and after Lydia took it upon herself to fix the leaky faucet in the shower (what a resourceful woman!) ... I apologized to her for ruining dinner. She told me not to be silly, that it could have happened to anyone. When I told her, in a very dejected voice, that I had wanted to make a special dinner for the two of us ... to celebrate "Us", she told me that it was the thought that counted. It was then that I told her I had something I wanted to show her, to share with her outside. She smiled that small smile at me that I so loved, and decided to humor me.

When I set my mind to do something, I tended to get it done quickly and efficiently. Once I'd decided to propose marriage to Lydia ... I made sure I had everything that I could possibly need in place ... and all without her being the wiser. However, I was nervous ... VERY nervous. Would she agree? Would she be willing?

Lydia: Joseph! What's all this?

Joseph: I did it for you, Lydia, to show you how much you've come to mean to me.

Lydia: Thank you, Joseph. I ... I don't know what to say. This ... this is beautiful ... just beautiful. I love it.

Joseph: I'm so glad you like it ...

Joseph: I really wanted to do something for you, something that would express how deep my feelings for you go, have gone, in such a short amount of time.

Lydia: I assure you, Joseph, you really didn't need to. I can see how much I mean to you whenever I look into your eyes. I only hope that you can see how much you've come to mean to me when you look into my eyes.

Joseph: I do see it. I do ... I do love you, Lydia. I'm ... I'm IN love with you. Is that strange? Is it wrong?

Lydia: No, it isn't ... because I'm in love with you, too, Joseph.

Joseph: Then ... will you do me the honor ... of becoming my wife, my partner, the other half of my soul?

I can't tell you how my heart pounded as I waited for her answer. I needn't have worried though. Her answer was immediate ... and in the affirmative. Then when I explained to her that I'd erected this rose-covered arch in hopes that not only would she agree to marry me, but marry me that very night when the moon was full and the winter whiteness was still crisp and beautiful, twinkling like millions of stars on the lawn, she nearly strangled me ... with happiness.

Beneath a cloudless sky, I vowed to be a devoted husband to Lydia. I vowed to cherish her and love her through every moment of our lives - the good and the bad. I vowed to be faithful and I vowed to trust her with everything that I was or could ever hope to be.

She did the same ... much to my utter joy.

Page 2

Wonderful Tonight - page 3

2009-02-09T23:05:00.006-05:00

After dinner, I asked Lydia if she'd like to burn up the dance floor with me. She said that after consuming so much of that amazingly delicious spaghetti, there really was nothing for it. She would HAVE to dance with me ... or risk never being able to fit into her coat. I had to laugh at that. Then I took her hand in mine and escorted her to the dance floor.

I had to comment almost immediately how good of a dancer she was. My fumbling steps seemed to disappear with her as my dance partner. The compliment was well-received.

After which I decided she needed a shoulder massage. Yes, right there on the dance floor. It was really just an excuse to put my hands on her. I was feeling an itch to touch her.

But touching her shoulders with my hands turned out not to be enough. I needed more ... more skin-to-skin contact. With very little warning, I pounced. She didn't seem to mind.

In fact ... she seemed to want more. No words passed between us as she led me towards the photobooth. At first, I didn't understand how we'd gone from making out on a crowded dance floor to her wanting to take another picture with me.

I understood quickly enough what it was she wanted ... and it wasn't to be blinded by the flashbulb. I never knew the photobooth could be used like that. I will have to make a mental note. Yes indeed ... *grin*

Of course, the moment was nearly ruined by some old hag ...

... who felt the need to smack me with her bag. I'm 100% convinced she had a cinder block inside that thing.

The force behind her hit nearly sent me flying back into the photobooth. What the hell was HER problem?!

Joseph: Ouch ...

Lydia: Don't pay any attention to that old bitty, Joseph. She's just jealous that she doesn't have a man like you to make her see fireworks.

Joseph: I made you see fireworks?

Lydia: Mmm ... maybe ...

Mrs. Crumplebottom: Young people ... they show no respect for anyone nowadays. Just up and jump into any situation for the whole world to take part in. It's DISGUSTING!

Joseph: Did you hear something?

Lydia: Only the romantic music in my head.

Joseph: You're really inflating my ego, you know.

Lydia: I know ... MMPH!

I couldn't have agreed more. I couldn't remember ever having such a wonderful time with a woman. Of course ... I didn't have much of a memory, but ... I had a feeling I'd never been with anyone like her. And I didn't think I wanted to be with anyone ... EXCEPT her.

Much to both of our surprise, it was daylight by the time we returned to my place. we spent the whole night together. Isn't it amazing how fast time goes by when you're having a good time?

I thanked Lydia for going out with me and for showing me such a good time.

And when I informed her that I didn't want it to end ... ever ... she agreed to move in with me. Yup. Definitely feeling wonderful tonight ... err ... this morning. It feels great not being alone any longer.

Housekeeping time! Time to throw in those few images that didn't really fit in with the rest of the blog.

Once the two of them got "a little taste", they couldn't think about anything else. *wiggles eyebrows*

When Lydia agreed to move in with Joseph, she brought some simoleons with her. Time to modify the house!! WOOHOOO!!

Granted ... I was disappointed that her backpack was empty. It would have been icing on the cake to have some nice stuff in there.

It was a little nice that she came with some bronze badges is sewing and in pottery.

Of course, her One True Hobby WOULD be in sports. :Op

Good thing her Lifetime Want is in sports! *grin*

Her primary aspiration is Fortune (Joseph's secondary happens to be in Fortune). And she rolled Family for her secondary. :O))

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Wonderful Tonight - page 2

2009-02-09T22:32:00.006-05:00

Just before we entered the club, after Lydia had removed her jacket in anticipation of entering the warm building, I turned to her and suddenly caressed her cheek. Her skin was so soft to touch ... like warm silk.

Joseph: You're so beautiful, Lydia ...

Lydia: Joseph ...

I was so overcome with my emotions ... and the physical sensations traveling all over my body just from that simple, intimate touch, that I ended up tripping over the doorjamb when entering the club. Talk about embarrassing. I didn't bother turning around to see if Lydia laughed (or not). I heard her soft giggle. It wasn't a laugh of someone making fun of someone else, or laughing at someone else. It was more like a laugh to show an understanding of sorts. I wondered then if she felt the same way I did about that brief touch.

Instead of sulking at how clumsy I was, I decided to immortalize the moment, our first date, by having us get our picture taken. Lydia was all for it!

Joseph: This turned out rather nice.

Lydia: Can I see?

Joseph: I don't know. Are you sure you can handle it?

Lydia (laughing): Joseph, you clown, let me look!

Joseph: Tadaaaa!

Lydia (smiling softly): We look ... very good together.

Joseph (smiling softly): Yes ... we do.

Lydia: I think it was a very good idea getting our picture taken together.

Joseph: I couldn't agree more.

After being immortalized, I decided that the lunchmeat sandwiches that we'd eaten were not enough to energize us for a wonderful (and hopefully long) evening together. So ... I insisted we have something decent for dinner. Lydia assured me that it wasn't necessary, but after I strongly insisted, giving her the "puppy eyes", she acquiesced with a soft laugh and a shake of her head.

While we sat waiting for our waitress, I wondered to myself what Lydia's favorite food was. I wondered if she might like spaghetti ... since that was one of the only decent things on the menu that I could afford. I hoped she wouldn't mind, but it never hurt to ask ... and ask in a way that didn't make it seem as though I was hoping she'd go for my suggestion.

Waitress: We have an excellent selection of foods this evening. Would you like to hear our specials?

Joseph: Umm ... no. Actually, I think I'm in the mood for spaghetti. What would you like to have, Lydia?

Lydia: Mmm ... I love spaghetti!

Waitress: An EXCELLENT choice. Our spaghetti is highly praised throughout Belladonna Cove.

Joseph: We'll take two orders, please.

Luck was DEFINITELY on my side this evening ... and maybe love, too?

The waitress quickly returned with out meal, much to my surprise and pleasure. If it was one thing I hated (or think I hated) was waiting forever for a meal.

Waitress: Enjoy your meal.

Of course, I didn't really notice how much time had passed or really even notice that our meals had arrived (though I guess I had on some level) ... since I spent that time staring into Lydia's beautiful eyes.

All other sights and sounds around us faded away. It was like we were encased in a protective bubble, but a bubble that instead of dulling sights and sounds and smells and tastes seemed to enrich them. The spaghetti ... the flowers on the table ... Lydia. The smells infiltrated my olfactory cavity and nearly overwhelmed me. I began to wonder if Lydia was enjoying herself so I found myself starting up a conversation.

Joseph: Are you enjoying your spaghetti?

Lydia: It has got to be THE best spaghetti I have ever tasted!

I don't know what came over me at hearing her say that because I suddenly found myself doing something extremely sappy.

Joseph: If you think yours tastes good ... you should try a bite of mine.

Lydia: Oh. Thank you! I think I will.

Joseph: Good?

Lydia: Mmmmm ... heavenly.

Joseph: I'd like to make a toast. To us.

Lydia: To us.

She smiled at me with that small smile that I was beginning to cherish. I had no idea why she had entered my thoughts earlier in the day. And I had no idea what possessed me to invite her over for sandwiches before suddenly asking her out on a date. But ... I was so very glad that I had.

Page 3

Wonderful Tonight - page 1

2009-02-09T22:16:00.010-05:00

Winter has officially blanketed my land in pristine whiteness. I found myself compelled out of my nice, warm house into the cold chill of the ankle-deep snow. My plan: to build a snowman.

I really don't know what possessed me to do it. It was kind of like a compulsion or something ... like some inner voice that I was powerless to resist bade me do it.

The funny ... weird ... strange ... wonderful result of this strange compulsion was not that I built a pretty decent snowman. No. It caused me to call up one of the women in my ever-growing "little black book".

The vision of Lydia Vu just jumped into my mind while I was building the snowman. I hadn't thought about her since she left my property the first and last time we crossed paths. But ... she popped right back in there when I wasn't expecting her to. My mind is a strange place. It scares me sometimes. What could I do with such things except to call her and invite her over. I had to figure out why she'd jumped into my head like that.

Thought I'd throw this shot in here for your amusement. This little glitch happened when Lydia showed up and Joseph greeted her ... *snicker*

It looks very painful. Yes indeed. For BOTH of them. *cackles*

Much to my surprise, she came right over. Before that though, she chastised me (over the phone, of course) for taking so long to call her. She assured me she had NOT been waiting in eager anticipation by her phone for it to ring, and my deep, sexy voice being the one on the other end. Women = strange and mysterious, but interesting ... in a good way. She even complimented me on my small, but ever-expanding bug and insect collection. I like a woman who isn't squeamish about such things. While she admired it, I made us something light to eat - lunchmeat sandwiches always go over well with company.

At first, we were both silent ... and between bites of food we stared at one another. Well ... we would look down at our plates ... take a small bite of our sandwich and quickly look up at the same time. At finding we were looking at one another, we would quickly look back down at our plates. Sometimes, when our eyes met, one or the other of us would open our mouth to say something, anything ... only to have it snap closed once more. It was really kinda ... pathetic not to mention embarrassing. We were both ADULTS for crying out loud! We were behaving like awkward teenagers. Then Lydia took the initiative on the whole "Break the Ice" thing.

Lydia: So ... do you ... watch a lot of television?

Yeah, it was kind of a lame conversation starter, but ... she threw herself out there, much braver than I, to get the proverbial ball rolling. I was just opening my mouth to answer her, when I shifted my gaze from her chin to her eyes ... and forgot what I was going to say. She had really ... REALLY ... beautiful eyes. They were green, but kind of a earthy green ... mossy almost.

Almost without me consciously realizing I was doing it ... almost ... I raised my hand and tentatively rested my palm on the surface of the table, on her half of the table ... effectively entering her personal space. She barely hesitated when she tentatively placed her hand on the table before slowly bringing the tips of her fingers to brush against mine to rest briefly against my knuckles. Then I felt her slowly move those fingers up my forearm and back to the back of my hand to rest once more.

I can't describe to you the sensation that zinged up my arm ... along the side of my neck and over my scalp. The tingles made me want to close my eyes in ecstasy, but I managed to keep my eyes open so I could give her a small, soft smile ... which she returned.

I felt suddenly giddy. I didn't know what to do with myself or with this new ... feeling.

So ... I blew her a kiss across the expanse of my kitchen table.

She seemed pleased that it hit its intended mark.

Unable to contain myself, I stood up from the table and walked around to her side. Taking her hands, I pulled her towards me with a smile. She didn't know what I was up to, but she looked as though she was willing to do anything I asked ...... within reason.

Joseph: Lydia ... would you ... like to accompany me downtown this winter evening? There's this club I know, perhaps you've heard of it? The Crypt O' Night Club? It's got ... great food ... great music ...

I trailed off uncertainly ... as I was beginning to ramble. She barely allowed herself a moment to breathe before she answered.

Lydia: Joseph, I thought you'd never ask.

I told her that I preferred to walk there. The snow was still quite fresh and the landscape was a wonderland. I wasn't about to tell her that I had just enough money in my wallet for a decent dinner (no lunchmeat sandwiches), but nothing for transportation. She didn't seem to mind. As a matter of fact, she seemed to enjoy tracking through the snow, leaving a trail in her wake. I found that endearing.

Page 2

Workin' for a Livin'

2009-02-09T18:48:00.003-05:00

Oh gawd. Here comes another one. This one's name is Emily Rodick. Or is that Rodiek?

Kiss-kiss. Make nice. And send her on her way. Geez ... I don't think I can take much more of this. I either have to find a job soon, or I gotta find a woman to live with me. I don't care if I love her or she loves me. Just as long as she's around to keep away the rest of the vultures!

Yeah. Now this is nice. Just shaking my bon-bon in the relative privacy of my own home.

The rest of the world does not exist. I am not lonely. I don't care that my bills are piling up and I still don't have a job. And there are moons around other planets that look like plumbbobs. Oh ... wait. There are. Meh ...

So I was outside working in my garden (I don't have a job, so I gotta work at something to keep my mind occupied) when the most interesting individual sauntered past. As if a fire had been lit beneath me, I was standing in front of him faster than he (or I) could blink.

Joseph: Hey! Uhh ... you're green!

Green Man: Yeah. I get that a lot.

Turns out he was on a diplomatic mission to Alderon ... err ... wait. No. Heh. He's an alien ... decided to hop around the cosmos looking for a new planet to inhabit and he decided on this one. His name's John Doe. Wouldn't it be funny if my name was Joe Schmoe?

He and I sat down on my lawn (it's actually quite soft and springy ... very comfortable to sit on) talking about this ...

... and talking about that. Truthfully, he wanted to know how many women I'd kissed since coming to Belladonna Cove (Mark II).

Apparently there was a shortage of men (and quite the surplus of women), and he'd had his fair share of tonsil hockey. His words reminded me that I am not a man-slut ... and that the women in this town were hormonal. I was so relieved!

When he brought up the subject of music, I don't know what came over me!

I jumped up from my grassy seat and started playing air guirtar ... expounding to him the fantastic time I had recently playing the DJ at the Crypt O' Night club downtown.

And I told him how the beat of the music could just make my heart pound .... how the guitar riffs could send tingles of pleasure up and down my spine. Music was AMBROSIA to me!

Surprisingly enough, this was not off-putting for him. Later, I would be mortified at my behavior, but John must have seen something positive in it, because ...

... he offered me a JOB! There was no way on this SimEarth that I would refuse a job that was NOT entry level. Nor did I particularly care that I had absolutely no interest in being a doctor. I needed the money! I could work on becoming a Prestidigitator later on. I bet you didn't know that about me, did you? Hence my interest in Frances McCullough - Evil Witch Extraordinaire. Feeling high on life I went for a little walk after John left.

Retracing my steps turned out to be a good thing.
(Sorry that I don't have a shot of the screenshot after that ... I missed.)

My high didn't last long though. For a while now, I've noticed that my trashcan keeps getting knocked over. I thought it was the wind ... or a hungry stray. I was wrong.

It seems this LOSER likes to run around town knocking over peoples' trashcans ... just because "... it's FUN ..." he says!! BAH!

Joseph: I'll show you "FUN" if you ever show your pathetic face on my lawn again you F^%$ing B@$%!rd!! Just TRY IT!! Yeah! You BETTER run! *grumbles*

So ... my carpool will arrive very soon. It's my first day on the job. I'm nervous, but also excited. I'm now part of the work force! I'll be pulling in a paycheck (daily, according to John Doe). Goodbye unpaid bills! So to relax my nerves, I decided to tend my garden. Some of my tomatoes are ready to be harvested ... and they didn't turn out half bad. Some are actually TASTY! I've really gotten quite good at this gardening thing.

*(sigh)* It seems I can't get away from hormonal women ... even at work. This one followed me home. I don't even know her name.

She grabbed me and kissed me. What was I supposed to do? I'm not a violent kind of guy ... I don't think. *(sigh)*

Winter's coming. And I haven't even harvested the rest of my garden yet. I rushed outside as soon as I saw the fluffy white flakes start to fall through my tiny windows. Thankfully - the rest of the tomatoes looked okay.

I was really glad about that, because I didn't think this snow was going to do them any good. All in all, I think I had a pretty good tomato harvest this year. I wonder what sorts of things I'll be able to plant in the spring.

I've decided to keep a blog. I'm not sure what I'm going to put in it yet ... but it might be interesting. Lots of people are doing it now. And who knows ... even though I'm quite certain my memories of my previous life will never return, maybe someone I used to know will see my blog and try to contact me. Worth a try, right? Granted ... do I want someone from that life contacting me? "CotM" said I wasn't a nice guy. Hmm ...

One thing I am happy about - being gainfully employed and all (even if it isn't my dream job), is that the money I'm making now makes it possible for me to decorate the interior of my home. Look! Tile walls for the bathroom, white stucco for the kitchen (though you can't see the kitchen walls), wood paneling for the living room and wallpaper for the bedroom!

I'm proud of my little house ... although, it's not really little when there's only one person in it. I have a job. I have a paycheck. But I'm still lonely. Maybe I'll make a concerted effort to meet someone someday ... like tomorrow. Maybe.

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Going Stir Crazy

2009-02-08T17:43:00.006-05:00

Okay ... so ... I'm kinda getting sick of how I'm writing this blog ... so I'm going to change things up a bit. I hope you all don't mind. :OD))

Ugh. I'm getting sick of looking at the stack of bills change color. I don't have a job yet ... and that's been slowly grating on my nerves. I don't want the "Repo Man" coming to my house. I barely have anything.

I've finally come to accept the fact ... after nearly a week ... that my old memories are not going to come back to me ... no matter how many flashes I have ... flashes that disappear just as quickly as a sandcastle on the beach as the tide rolls in. I've got to accept that, and move on. Obviously, I had no one in my life who cared enough about me to come looking for me. I'm not quite sure how that makes me feel.

For better or for worse, I'm home now. It does, however, worry me when things like the papergirl actually putting my newspaper on the front porch for a change instead of a the very edge of my property gives me a sense of satisfaction. I think I've been spending too much time at home.

And it's nice that all of the women flocking to Belladonna Cove (Mark II) are interested in making my acquaintance ...

... but I'm not a romance sim ... and have no desire to be a romance sim. I'm just ... lonely.

Frankly ... I'm kinda getting sick of them all inviting themselves in.

It's kind of pathetic when you think about it. Katherine McMillan is a nice lady and all ... but I have no interest in getting to know her any better.

And even though I don't know Valerie Spitzig all that well, I called her up on the phone after bidding Ms. McMillan a not-so-sweet adieu to complain about how I was feeling. She knows I have no real interest in her as well, so she told me to get off my ass (her words, not mine) and get out and meet people that I do have an interest in.

I decided to take her advice. Instead of waiting for some random stranger to call me up and invite me downtown, I invited myself downtown. I would never truly get to know the new neighborhood until I got out there all on my own and just ... immersed myself in everything there was to offer.

I decided to start with the DJ booth. It looked like fun ... and would also make me a little bit of money to boot. And I needed money. Those bills on my desk were always in the back of my mind.

And you know what? I found that it was something that I REALLY enjoyed!

The music! It just filled up an empty place inside of me and gave me a quiver of excitement that I hadn't really felt for anything since ... y'know ... finding myself on an empty beach lot after being abandoned by a taxi.

Granted ... I DO make my fair share of mistakes, like accidentally mixing in a childrens' album singing about the "A, B, C's" in the middle of a hot and heavy dance remix.

I can't tell you how embarrassing that is.

But even though I'm an amateur, the people on the dance floor were enjoying my prowess behind the spin table. Granted, I'm not sure if people who don't really know how to dance liking my spinning truly makes me feel.

After a while, I decided to take a break. I was getting hungry after all. So I had the hostess of the Crypt O' Night Club to seat me at the bar. I had no desire to have some woman sit down at a table with me.

Sitting a bar ... you don't actually have to strike up a conversation with anyone ... least of all those who I have no interest in ... like this young woman who thankfully didn't seem interested in me at all. This evening was for ME ... and no one else.

And a short time later ... the most interesting individual appeared at the club.

She appeared in a flash of green ... lightning bolts and rain her overture.

I wondered if perhaps there was something in the food that was making me see the things that I was very obviously seeing.

Being a knowledge-minded individual, I walked right up to her and introduced myself. She informed me that her name was Frances McCullough - Evil Witch Extraordinaire.

I, of course, immediately asked her if she was part of some elaborate show for the club. She, insulted, set me straight. She was weaver of the Magicks ... the dark arts.

Joseph: Like conjuring money out of thin air?

Joseph: And turning straw into gold?

Frances: That was Rumplestilskin. I use my powers to beat others into submissions if I have a mind to do it.

Joseph: Like a drum?

Frances: Exactly.

Frances: I can play people like a finely tuned violin if I so desired to do so. Why? Are you interested in learning my ways?

I, of course, told her I had to give it some thought. While the thought of having such control over the uncontrollable had its appeal ... I didn't know if I wanted to go down that road. Who knew if "CotM" was watching.

I bid Frances a farewell ... with the stipulation that I might try to get in touch with her in the future ... out of curiosity more than anything else, anything sinister on my part. Then I went back into the club and started spinning the vinyl once more.

It was getting quite late (or quite early) by the time I decided it was time to go home. I'd been out pretty much all day.

I was no longer feeling like a prisoner in my own home.

I was exhausted and it was time to turn in. So with my wallet a little fatter than it was when I came, I headed for home ... in the pouring rain left behind by Frances McCullough. It was actually kind of refreshing.

I had the strangest dream that night. I dreamed that I went out to my garden in the buff ... just to spray and weed and water the plants.

Dreams were such interesting things. Who knew what triggered the events that happened in them. I certainly didn't have a clue.

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No Place Like Home

2009-02-07T10:26:00.005-05:00

Someday, Joseph was quite certain, he would put up a wall and enclose his house entirely. Then maybe he'd put in a large picture window so that he could look out at the crashing waves while cooking or doing the dishes. It was so relaxing and hypnotic. However, he figured the first important thing (aside from enclosing his house) was to purchase a stove. He really was getting tired of these instant meals and ramen noodles.

What he REALLY had a craving for was freshly cooked fish - preferably fried. With a pond on his property, he figured he could fish daily and stock up. Then when he finally had a stove/oven ... he could make some interesting fish dishes ... and maybe use some of the fresh vegetables he was growing in his garden.

Fishing was a waiting game. Joseph figured the stray cat that wandered by probably understood that.

BAH! A boot! What am I supposed to do with THIS? Make Filet of "Sole" like Charlie Simlin?

Rassafrassin ...! Another boot!! And they're both the left boot ... and size elevens 'to boot'. *snort* What the hell am I supposed to do with these?!

Oh. Much better ... though a bit on the small side.

Joseph had no desire to leave his home that day ... and had been pursing some of his interests - like bug collecting. He found it quite fascinating all the different insects he was finding.

Although ... he wasn't always lucky in his finds.

However, with his latest find, he was beginning to wonder if maybe he might have an infestation of beetles. He certainly hoped not. That would not be good for his sparse and ill-protected home.

Of course, considering how rare he believed that species to be, he didn't think he had anything to truly worry about. Besides, it might be small now, but he was quite certain that his collection would be quite impressive someday.

For the first time since appearing on the beach when the taxi dropped him off, Joseph ate fresh food ... prepared, surprisingly enough, in his toaster oven! Who knew it was possible?!

And he felt that he had never tasted anything so mouthwatering in all of his life. He hoped to repeat the experience soon.

Deciding that expanding his cooking prowess might have some unforeseen obstacles, he decided it would be a good idea to read up on Fire Safety.

Better to be safe than sorry!

One morning while checking on his flourishing garden ...

... that he was becoming increasingly adept at taking care of ...

... he introduced himself to Valerie Spitzig ... who had just been passing by and had commented on what a well-tended garden he had.

He was beginning to wonder if Belladonna Cove (Mark II) was a burgeoning area for those people developing those "dot com" companies. Everyone seemed interested in the internet.

Though Valerie was quite pretty, she really didn't do anything for him ... surprisingly enough considering he had yet to form any real designs on any women he'd come in contact with thus far. He'd probably locked lips with every woman who'd passed by his house. Valerie Spitzig was no exception.

Pursuits of women and bugs, however, hadn't sidetracked him from his desire to find interesting artifacts buried in his yard. He truly wondered if there was anything more interesting in his yard than tiki idols and bones.

As it turned out ... he was right!

The glowing chest was appraised forthwith ... and he sold it immediately. That kind of money would not be passed up. He wanted ... NEEDED to improve his home. The money he got for the chest was a great help in that.

He finally had a separate room for his bed. A REAL bedroom! The kitchen, dining room and living rooms were still all one big room ... but he figured he'd be able to change that eventually.

There really was no place like home and Joseph was glad that this one was something that he was building proudly with his own two hands.

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As Luck Would Have It

2009-02-03T13:24:00.003-05:00

Wow ... that was certainly something last evening. I think that's the last time I allow myself to be swayed to go somewhere by a complete stranger. I can't remember a single thing after we ate dinner.

Joseph woke up bright and early the next morning, his mind in a fog. He couldn't recall having drank anything alcoholic, but who knew what that mind contraption that "CotM" mentioned had done to his brain. He made the decision to stock up on Ginkgo Biloba when he had the extra simoleons.

Still without a refrigerator, he forced himself to eat the leftover Chinese food from the day before. He ruminated on last evening's events, or what he could remember of it. It was while he was thinking, a frown marring his features, that a guest dropped by.

Now considering how he didn't have a door ... or any walls for that matter, it really was nothing for someone to drop by and glance at his newspaper. But ... this woman really caught Joseph's eye. She really was quite beautiful. Chinese food forgotten, he approached her.

Having noticed similarly dressed individuals walking past his home before, he greeted this new person in a similar fashion. What surprised him was that she accepted the greeting ... even seemed impressed by it to the point of doing Joseph a favor.

That was very kind of her to offer.

Impressed with her generosity (as he REALLY needed the money a computer of such technological advancement could bring) as well as with her kindness and her sweet nature ...

... Joseph felt his heart give a little lurch. Granted, he had felt his heart twitter in his chest before when looking at other women, but this woman seemed different somehow.

He wasn't about to lose his head over a woman, however. He was in no hurry to fall in love ... none at all.

Feeling lighthearted after Lydia Vu left, he decided to try his luck at digging in his yard again. He'd heard some rumors floating around that the previous inhabitants of Belladonna Cove, and even the early settlers, left treasures all around town waiting for some lucky individual to dig up. Joseph, who was still in financial straits, was hoping he'd be such a person.

He hadn't been digging for long when ... *CLINK* ...

What's this ... ?

Not quite knowing what he'd found, he took it to a museum curator downtown to have it appraised.

Not bad! Not bad at all! When the curator expressed an interest to know what he planned to do with it, and Joseph mentioned that he was probably just going to sell it to a collector since he needed the money, the curator out and out offered to buy it from him. Seeing the desperation in the other man's eyes, Joseph decided that it was better off in a museum. This way other people, everyday people, could enjoy it.

Still feeling lucky, Joseph tried his luck once more.

This time, all he found was an old bone. He wondered if he could somehow pass it off as an archaeological find, but then decided not to press his luck. He sold it to a dog kennel for §25.

Joseph was getting ready to attempt a third excavation of his yard, when he was suddenly greeted by Tristen Chin who just happened to be walking by and wondered why a strange man was digging on property she knew to have been sold. Joseph explained to her that it was his land, that he wasn't doing anything illegal. When she asked him what he was doing, he simply stated, "Gardening." It was while they were talking about the best kinds of vegetables to plant at that time of year, he realized she looked familiar.

Joseph: Are you related to Holly Chin?

Tristen: She's my cousin.

Joseph: Is that right? Are you also as heavy into the internet as she is?

Tristen: You better believe it! I actually design different varieties of cursors ... if you can believe that. It's actually quite lucrative.

Joseph listened to her with only one ear while he had a conversation with himself in his other ear. She was also quite beautiful. Why were there so many beautiful women in this neighborhood? How was one man to choose one? The RIGHT one?

He wasn't certain, but ... he figured he might as well have a good time trying.

After Tristen left, he decided that instead of filling in all of his holes, he really would start a garden.

Tristen had recommended tomatoes, since they were quite hardy. So that's what he did. If he had a garden, he wouldn't have to subsist on Chinese food and instant dinners. He was dying for a freshly prepared, non-processed meal. And since selling the computer and the Tiki idol ... he had a bit more money to his name. He decided that it was just about time to make some changes.

He attempted to enclose the entire house, but found it left him hurting for cash. He ended up leaving the back wall of the house off. The sea was nice the look at after all.

His lots was actually starting to feel like a home ... one that he would someday be proud of, that he would on day pass down to his children. How was that for the start of a new life?

Just a house-keeping picture. I forgot to show Joseph's aspiration stuff. :O))

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A Night on the Town - part 2

2009-01-30T14:29:00.012-05:00

Very shortly after the strange flash of images in his mind froze him in place, Jess informed him that she had an early day and had to go, but that it was nice meeting him. This distracted him sufficiently enough that the fragments in his mind dissipated like so much snow on the ground in May. He would have attempted to think further on what had just happened ...

... but he became sufficiently distracted once more. The woman with the dark brown hair and the flared pants was distracting him.

She really was quite beautiful ... with her large eyes and full lips.

He probably could have spent all of the remainder of the night looking at her soft features, but someone ... or rather something else caught his eye.

He couldn't be certain ... but ... the man looked like he didn't get enough sunlight. And he also had strangely hued eyes. They looked almost ... almost RED! But ... he couldn't be a VAMPIRE ... could he? Joseph was intrigued by the myths and legends of the world ... vampires in particular. He always thought that there was just enough information to prove the possibility of vampires ... but never anything to disprove it. Trying to be as unobtrusive as possible, Joseph watched the "man".

(Is he looking at her with HUNGER in his eyes??? I've never seen anyone look at someone so intensely before. And are those FANGS I see?!)

(Hmm ... I wonder what his problem is with this old guy ...)

(Maybe he wants to gnaw on THIS guy instead of the woman ... his face is more angry, almost wild than it was when he stared at the woman. And he seems to have his teeth ... his sharp, POINTY teeth ... bared more fully.)

(AH! Is he going to ...?!)

Man ... my head hurts. *yawn*

I really have GOT to stop spending all of my time out at night. It's not good for my brain cells.

All I need is a good night's rest ... and all will be well.

Zzzzzzzzz .......

A Note from the Simmer: I mainly took all those vampire shots because I have a default replacement for the vampires, and I had yet to see it up close. Looks pretty good, don't it? :OD)) Plus, my Joseph has vampires as a Turn on. I wanted to see if he'd do anything interesting. :OD))

Outtakes:

Why on EARTH is this old biddy thinking about BABIES?!?! *shudders at the thought*

Back ----- Part 1 ----- Next ----- Index

A Night on the Town - part 1

2009-01-30T11:17:00.014-05:00

So ... Joseph was going to embrace this new life that was being given to him. As his first step in doing so, he decided to accept a stranger's invitation to visit the downtown area of Belladonna Cove (Mark II).

It wasn't quite an immediate reaction ... but pretty darn close to one, but Joseph was beginning to think that he may have made a mistake in "jumping into the pool with his eyes closed".

Jenna Bradshaw was NOT the kind of person he wanted to get to know. She had this thing about her personal hygiene that Joseph found a bit ... well ... unbearable and offensive, not to put too fine a point on it. And he wasn't the only person to think so. He decided that if he was going to have a good time, he was going to have to ditch her.

Granted, dressing up like a bartender to give her the slip didn't work out as well as he hoped it might. Like a rottweiler with a juicy piece of meat, she found him almost immediately ... much to his utter joy. He decided that he would just have to be a gentleman and show her a good time ... even if it killed him. He figured it was best to feed the woman so he made his way over to the hostess' podium to get them seated.

And that's when he saw her. He wasn't certain what it was about this woman, but seeing her sent a tingle all over his body. Whether it was a good tingle or a bad tingle, he wasn't one hundred percent certain.

While talking with Jenna, he got the feeling that the mysterious woman was watching him for some unfathomable reason. It was like his "Spider Sense" was tingling or something. If anyone were to ask him later what Jenna and he talked about, he wouldn't have been able to say. He was too distracted.

Nor would he have been able to mention what they ordered for dinner, considering all he could concentrate on was the fact that the mysterious woman was now sitting at the bar. Though he did recall that their waitress was very pretty.

He wouldn't, however, have any trouble remembering how Jenna ate. Her tables manners ... YEESH!!

Joseph was almost, but not one hundred percent certain, that he heard this man murmur:

Man: Maybe you should give her a feed bag!

Joseph had, in fact, considered it.

Who was this mysterious woman? And why did her presence place such a hold on him? She was attractive, yes ... but not in any way that made her stand out from anyone else.

As a matter of fact, there was a woman on the other side of the room that nearly stole Joseph's attention away from the mystery already before him.

However, with his attention back on the mysterious woman, Joseph was almost certain there was something about her that was vaguely familiar. He grew frustrated when he couldn't figure out why. He just couldn't put his finger on what it was. Figuring that there was only one way he would be able to figure it out without going slowly insane, and with a good excuse to ditch Jenna Bradshaw ...

he decided to approach her. He introduced himself and subsequently found out that her name was Jess Arden. Obviously, the name didn't really ring any bells, since he couldn't even remember his own name, but as he stood talking to her, he knew that somehow, somewhere ... he'd met her before.

And while he talked to her about the crime running rampant in the newly populated Belladonna Cove (Mark II) ...

... that she believed was a load of bull, but just rumors being propagated by the minds of the uninformed ...

... fragments of memories (his memories???) flashed quickly through his mind.

Part 2

Settling In

2009-01-28T13:46:00.011-05:00

Joseph didn't know how long he sat staring at his computer screen, the screensaver having kicked in a while ago, his mind running in continuous loops regarding the "conversation" he'd just had with the user known only as "CotM". However, the next thing he knows, he's hearing voices (not in his head though).

He quite clearly hears one of the voices saying, "Just go on up and say hi. He doesn't seem to have a door to knock on."

Blinking out of his mental turmoil, he turned his head towards the voices to find that he has some more visitors.

Joseph: Umm ... hi there. May I help you?

Man: Well, no, not as such, but maybe we can help you! Hi there! My name's Gilbert Jacquet and I'm one of your neighbors. This lady in the pink is Mrs. Wanda Tinker. She lives just up the road a ways. And this lovely lady in blue is Mrs. Lisa Ramirez ... also an inhabitant of this recently vacated town.

Joseph: Hello, I'm Joseph ... Joseph Schmoepova. Newly moved here.

Gilbert: I guess we're what'cha call "The Welcome Wagon". We welcome all new folks to the area so that they settle in faster. We find it makes a move transition easier. Besides, it's a nice way to meet folks. You seem like a pretty nice fellow though.

Joseph: Oh ... thanks!

In the background ...

Wanda: Isn't Gilbert just so hot? Such a TAKE CHARGE kinda guy.

Lisa: I know, right!

Lisa: He's the kind of guy that appears maybe once in a blue moon.

Wanda: You'll get no argument from me. Just don't tell my husband. I'm sure your husband would have kittens if he heard us discussing another man like this.

Gilbert: So ... what do you think of some of our ladies, eh? Nice, right?

Joseph (noncommittally): Mmm ...

Gilbert: You don't mind if I take a look at your property, do you? I've always wondered what it would be like to live on the beach.

Joseph: No, go right ahead. I, obviously, have nothing to hide.

Gilbert: Great! Why don't you be a gentlemen and go over there and get to know the ladies. I'm sure they'd like to get know a stud like you a bit better. Women around here are like vultures when it comes to men. You're fresh meat to them. Just wait and see.

Joseph briefly watches as Gilbert wanders off down to the beach before returning his attention to his others guests. Lisa Ramirez has already made herself at home. Wanda appears to be waiting for him so he figures he might as well start with her.

Wanda: I don't mean to frighten you or anything, but you really ought to get some walls and a door with a lock. This neighborhood, while not bustling like it used to before that weird plague, still has the criminal element. Protect what little valuables you have.

Joseph: Are you serious?!

Wanda: VERY serious.

Joseph: Wow ... guess I'm going to need to find some employment so I can start getting my house in order.

Joseph: Should I buy some handscuffs?

Wanda: Hmmm ... depends on what you plan to do with them.

Just as Joseph was starting to get into the 'handcuff' conversation with Wanda Tinker, another visitor arrived, one he'd been expecting for about twenty minutes.

Delivery Guy: Hey, man. That'll be §30.

Joseph: That's not a bad price for eight boxes.

Wanda (snorting): Yeah, if you LIKE Chinese food. If you don't mind, I'm going to go down to the beach with the others.

Joseph: Sure, go right ahead. I'm going to have something to eat. I'm STARVING! Feel free to join me and tell the others there's plenty if they'd like some.

Wanda gave him a backward wave as she wandered down to the beach. With a shrug, he turned and climbed the stairs up to his house.

Contrary to what Wanda Tinker implied, the Chinese food was quite tasty to Joseph. Of course, he couldn't recall what he last ate, or when he last ate. All he knew for certain was that he was hungry, and this food was really hitting the spot. Maybe it was the MSG.

He could hear his visitors down on the beach, seemingly enjoying themselves, but he really wasn't in any kind of mood to properly entertain them. He was still a bit dazed about what he'd just learned from "CotM". Considering he had no memory of the things the individual hinted at, it was really hard for him to wrap his mind around everything that was revealed. A Mind Altering/Erasing device?! What a CONCEPT!

He was just starting to think about how one could possibly create such a device when his thoughts were interrupted by the arrival of Lisa Ramirez who grabbed herself a box of Chinese food and made herself comfortable at his dining room table. He was just digging his chopsticks back into the box when he heard Lisa Ramirez ask quite clearly:

Lisa: So ... Wanda was telling me you wanted to buy handcuffs. I would never have guessed you were into that sort of thing, dressed the way you are. I guess one should never judge a book by its cover.

Joseph (coughing): ExCUSE me?! I wasn't thinking of anything like that! I just wondered if I should buy handcuffs to restrain any burglars who might try to break in ... until the police arrive and take over. I am not ... that is to say ...!

Lisa (laughing): Hey, hey! I was only joking. Calm down! Heh. Don't have a coronary. I didn't know you were that uptight.

Joseph: I'm not the type to kiss and tell, Mrs. Ramirez ... even if I were into such things.

That conversation pretty much killed it for Joseph. He hadn't really been in an entertaining mood in the first place. Having a lot on his mind also made him a poor host. He didn't mind meeting new people, he just ... needed time to get his head back on straight. Shortly after Lisa finished her food, he gathered them all together, thanked them for coming over and for their advice, and told them that he needed to go into town to see if he could find any more furnishings for his place. This little white lie quite effectively got them off of his lot so he could be alone.

He didn't stay alone for long though. A stray wandered onto his lot and up onto his foundation. He was a big dog, but a gentle dog. Joseph liked him and wondered if he needed a home.

It was while he was playing fetch with the dog that he saw a very beautiful woman walking past. She was so beautiful, in fact, that he found himself forgetting his earlier troubles. He was eager to speak with her.

Shooing the dog away, he approached her.

Joseph: Umm ... hi. Do you ... uhh ... come here ... often?

If he could smack his forehead for the lameness of that statement, he would have. It would have to wait until this beautiful woman left though.

Woman (yawning ... and in a bored tone): No, not really.

Joseph, with a flash of insight that came out of nowhere, began talking to her about the internet.

Joseph: I find it really interesting how complicated smiley faces have gotten since internet chatting first took off.

Woman (excitedly): Really?! So do I! I mean, can you imagine trying to chat with someone without smiley faces? How are we to know what kind of mood they're in? It would be like ... UNIMAGINABLE!

The two of them chatted excitedly about computers and the internet for quite some time before the woman, who's name was Holly Chin, said she had to leave. Before Joseph could even get out a "come again soon" ...

... she had her lips locked with his. When she slowly pulled away from him, a small smile curving her lips, Joseph could only stare at her, dazed. Then she waved and wandered down the sidewalk and out of sight.

He barely had time to ruminate on this latest mental jigsaw puzzle when his phone started ringing. He hadn't even been aware that he had a phone ... or a phone number! Upon answering, he was greeted by a woman who said she lived in town and had heard that he'd just moved in. Considering he was so new to the area, she wondered if he'd like to meet her downtown so she could show him the best places to eat and dance.

His first instinct was to turn her down. After all, who was she? A perfect stranger! And how had she gotten a hold of his phone number. HE didn't even know what it was! But when he recalled the kiss he'd unexpectedly received, a thought occurred to him. If this was his home, he would eventually want to meet someone, settle down with that person. What better way to meet someone than to go out on the town?

Joseph: Sure. I'd love to meet you downtown ... 7:00 PM? Sounds great! See you then.

Well, if he was going out, he would need a shower. He had no idea when he'd last had one ... since he couldn't remember past today ... so it was probably a good idea to freshen up a bit.

The shower, the water nice and hot, relaxed muscles he hadn't realized were tense. And as he began to relax, he decided that this new life of his was going to be a great life. He would make sure of it.

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Revelations

2009-01-27T09:40:00.013-05:00

Joseph blinked one more time before his brain finally managed to send enough electricity through his neurons to get his hands to start typing. Perhaps this "CotM" would have some idea what was going on. Perhaps he could get answers to his questions from this individual. That was his hope. SimHoo IM started up quickly and he found himself typing in the information that "CotM" had provided.

He had barely hit the return key when an alert sound chimed, startling him. Looking up at his screen, he saw that "CotM" was already online.

CotM: Hello, Joseph. How are you settling in to your new home?

Captain ManBeast: Umm ... as well as can be expected all things considered.

CotM: Oh? What's up?

Captain ManBeast: Oh, not much ... considering I don't know how I ended up here, or why I'm here ... and I can't remember much of anything prior to stepping out of the cab and onto the beach.

CotM: Oh! It worked! :O) The EO will be pleased.

Captain ManBeast: What worked? Who's "The EO" ... and who the hell are you while we're at it?

CotM: The mind altering/erasing device. The EO is the purveyor of all of Legacyland and ... well, my boss (of sorts). Me? I'm The EO's right hand. I dole out the rewards and punishments. I rewarded you with a punishment.

Captain ManBeast: ......... What do you mean by that?

CotM: By what?

Captain ManBeast: Well ... all of it, but most importantly ... that bit about punishment.

CotM: Does it really matter?

Captain ManBeast: If it has anything, anything at all to do with why I can't remember anything, then ... well ... HELL YEAH!!

CotM: I'm not really sure if I'm at liberty to tell you anything about your former life.

Captain ManBeast: FORMER? What the hell does that mean?!

CotM: According to Sim-Webster's Dictionary: Former - noun. 1a: coming before in time. 1b: of, relating to, or occurring in the past. 2: preceding in place or arrangement : foregoing. 3: first in order of two or more things cited or understood. 4: having been previously. Pretty simple word to understand I should think.

Captain ManBeast: I don't know you, and already I don't think I like you very much.

CotM: Well, that's just plain rude! Here I am, giving you a perfectly good definition of the word ... and you insult me. There's gratitude for you.

Captain ManBeast: You know PERFECTLY well what I meant, smartass! What did you mean when you referred to my life - my former life?!

CotM: And now he's calling me names. Well, if this is how you're going to chat at me, I'm logging out.

Captain ManBeast: NO! Don't go! Look ... *sigh* ... I'm sorry, okay? I'm just having a really weird moment here. It's a bit disconcerting waking up in a cab to find that I've been dropped off in the middle of nowhere without a memory and then later being called by a name I don't recognize. You'll have to forgive me if I sound a bit out of sorts.

CotM: Joseph Schmoepova is a good name, don't you think? I thought of it myself. ^__^

Captain ManBeast: YOU gave me that name?! But ... but WHY?!

CotM: You weren't very well-liked in you former life, m'boy. You did cruel things to nice people. I'm giving you a rarely given second chance to do something good with your life. I've taken you away from your old life ... where I believe if we hadn't gotten to you, someone else would have. So ... instead of sleeping with the fishes ... or the alternative of me getting a hold of you and stripping your skin from your body with my Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Sword and leaving you to die baking in the sun, The EO gave me permission to "remold" you.

Captain ManBeast: O__o

CotM: My thoughts exactly. Do good things. Settle down. Make gorgeous babies with a nice lady ... or a nice man if that's your preference. Just DO something. Do something USEFUL for the SimWorld. Just know that I'm watching you. If I find that you are slipping into old habits, I've already been given permission to take more PERMANENT actions against you. So ... good luck with your new life and try not to screw it up this time, Joseph Schmoepova. >:O}

CotM has signed off.

Joseph sat there at his computer, oblivious to everything going on around him. His mind and thoughts in turmoil. He may not have FULLY grasped his situation, but one thing was perfectly clear - he was home.

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Be it ever so humble ...

2009-01-23T19:22:00.013-05:00

Ugh ... man ... my head hurts ... That must've been some party last night ... yeah ... heh ... heh ... *groan* ...

Where the hell did the cab drop me anyway?

I always knew you couldn't trust cab drivers. Psychopaths ... the lot of them. The guy dropped me off in the middle of nowhere ...

In the middle of nowhere on a beach. Where there's absolutely no one else around. Just perfect ...

Maybe if I went and sat down ... let the sea air clear my head, I might be able to remember something important ... like the name of the cab company so I can complain about poor service. Yeah ... that's the ticket.

The sounds of the waves crashing against the beach is a soothing sound. It's almost hypnotic ... and definitely soothing.

This isn't bad. It's nice here. Wherever here is.

The waves are quite hypnotic ... both by sight and sound ... *dazed*

I wonder where everyone is. I guess I really should get up from here and try to see if I can find a phone ... or maybe hitchhike somewhere with a population.

He turns his head and freezes.

Where the HELL did THAT come from?!

After wandering around for a couple of hours, he comes to the conclusion that wherever he is, he's there all alone. No one else is a around. The clump of foundation that suddenly appeared behind him seems not to have any clues about its origins and he decides he'll hang around for a while ... see if anything turns up.

A few minutes after he decides on this course of action, he is astounded into paralysis when a couple of bulky-looking guys in a rather non-descript white truck with no logo approach the clump of foundation and start modifying it.

When they're done ... this structure stands before him. Unfortunately, he waits too long in his astonishment. The guys are already in their truck and long gone by the time he gathers his wits together.

Damn. What do I do now? *sigh*

Suddenly, he feels an impulse to start digging. He found a shovel leaning against the wall of the foundation ... and figures he might as well put it to good use.

It's while he's digging in his second location that he observes a young girl, probably no more than sixteen, approaching from down the street. She's wearing what appears to be a uniform and is carrying a rather heavy-looking duffel bag on one shoulder. Silent, but alert, he watches her.

Oh! A papergirl! Maybe she can tell me where I am ... and how I go about getting the hell outta here.

Of course, it hasn't yet crossed his mind that he won't know where to go from here. Even if he knew where "here" was, he's ill equipped to get anywhere but back on the beach staring at the waves.

Our Guy: Hello, there. Listen, can you ...?

Papergirl: Oh! Mr. Schmoepova! I didn't know you were home. I'm sorry for just barging in on you. Guess I shoulda shouted to see if you were around. They told me down at the newspaper that someone had just bought the big seaside lot and that I would be adding it to my route in the morning's. Let me be the first to welcome you to Belladonna Cove Mark II. I'm Keira Long and I'll be delivering your morning paper.

He is momentarily stunned into silence as this information filters his still-throbbing head. Believing some sort of clarification was in order, he smiled at the teen.

Mr. Schmoepova: Err ... you're Keira Long, right?

Keira: Right!

Mr. Schmoepova: And I'm ...?

It was here that he paused ... a frown coming to his face. Schmoepova ... that's what the girl said his name was ... but there was no tingle of recognition in his mind at it. He stood there, staring at Keira's feet so long that the girl became concerned.

Thinking that perhaps her new guy had some sort of hangover, Keira felt it was her duty to be as helpful as she could be.

Keira: You're Joseph Schmoepova.

Joseph: Oh. Umm ... of course. Of course, I am! Heh! What kinda idiot doesn't know his own name. Certainly not me. And this place is ... MY home, right?

Keira: That's right, sir. Bought and paid for. You must be pretty well off to afford such a large lot ... and right on the water, too! I'm so jealous!

Joseph: Umm ... yeaaaah.

Joseph just nodded and smiled. How could he tell this little slip of a girl that he had no idea if he was "well off" or not. He couldn't recall anything at all! His mind was a total blank! That ... was NOT good! Not wanting this girl to think he was some sort of crackpot ... or crackhead ... he began talking to her about mundane, everyday topics.

Joseph: So ... do you know where I could find a fairly cheap television set?

Keira: Why get a cheap one? You've probably got enough money squirreled away to get the latest 56" 3D HDTV!

Joseph: You think so?

Keira: Absolutely! I've heard that they can even project a rendered chef into your kitchen to teach you how to cook like the gourmets! I TOTALLY wanna get one when I can afford to. That's why I'm doing this paper route.

Joseph: Umm ... I'm not really into cooking all that much.

Newcomer: Heeeey, Keira! What're you still doing hanging around here, girl? Don't you have some papers to deliver?

Keira: Oh! Sorry, Mr. Humble! I didn't realize I'd been lingering so long.

Mr. Humble: That's okay, Keira. Just be more careful next time.

Keira: It was nice meeting you Mr. Schmoepova. I'll see you again tomorrow.

Stunned into silence once more, Joseph looks at the newcomer ... a Mr. Humble according to the papergirl. Maybe he, an adult, could assist him better.

Joseph turned around to address the gentlemen only to have his thoughts interrupted by Mr. Humble placing a brightly wrapped gift on the floor of his ... well ... "home".

And then he was speaking to him.

Mr. Humble: I hope you put it to good use, Mr. Schmoepova. I highly recommend that you plug it in and jump online. You might find something ... or someone useful. So long!

Joseph: Oh, wait, but I ...!

But the man was already gone. Drat! Sighing, Joseph turned towards the package. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he went ahead and opened it.

Not bad. It looked like he could use a computer. His home was very minimalistic, from what he was able to observe. And at least it would keep him connected to the outside. Belladonna Cove Mark II didn't seem to be overly populated.

Following the advice of Mr. Humble, he got the computer set up on a desk that was conveniently located on his foundation and turned it on.

He was more than a little surprise to find that he had an email waiting for him when he connected to the internet (must have been some sort of new-fangled wireless desktop). Opening the message, he saw the following words:

Hey there, Joseph. When you get this message, log into SimHoo Instant Messenger. I believe you and I have a few things we need to discuss. Your login name is "Captain ManBeast". Your password is "MiNdF*-k".

Yours Truly,
CotM

Joseph blinked ... blinked ... and blinked once more.

What the HELL?!?!

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