Ugh ... man ... my head hurts ... That must've been some party last night ... yeah ... heh ... heh ... *groan* ...
Where the hell did the cab drop me anyway?
I always knew you couldn't trust cab drivers. Psychopaths ... the lot of them. The guy dropped me off in the middle of nowhere ...
In the middle of nowhere on a beach. Where there's absolutely no one else around. Just perfect ...
Maybe if I went and sat down ... let the sea air clear my head, I might be able to remember something important ... like the name of the cab company so I can complain about poor service. Yeah ... that's the ticket.
The sounds of the waves crashing against the beach is a soothing sound. It's almost hypnotic ... and definitely soothing.
This isn't bad. It's nice here. Wherever here is.
The waves are quite hypnotic ... both by sight and sound ... *dazed*
I wonder where everyone is. I guess I really should get up from here and try to see if I can find a phone ... or maybe hitchhike somewhere with a population.
He turns his head and freezes.
Where the HELL did THAT come from?!
After wandering around for a couple of hours, he comes to the conclusion that wherever he is, he's there all alone. No one else is a around. The clump of foundation that suddenly appeared behind him seems not to have any clues about its origins and he decides he'll hang around for a while ... see if anything turns up.
A few minutes after he decides on this course of action, he is astounded into paralysis when a couple of bulky-looking guys in a rather non-descript white truck with no logo approach the clump of foundation and start modifying it.
When they're done ... this structure stands before him. Unfortunately, he waits too long in his astonishment. The guys are already in their truck and long gone by the time he gathers his wits together.
Damn. What do I do now? *sigh*
Suddenly, he feels an impulse to start digging. He found a shovel leaning against the wall of the foundation ... and figures he might as well put it to good use.
It's while he's digging in his second location that he observes a young girl, probably no more than sixteen, approaching from down the street. She's wearing what appears to be a uniform and is carrying a rather heavy-looking duffel bag on one shoulder. Silent, but alert, he watches her.
Oh! A papergirl! Maybe she can tell me where I am ... and how I go about getting the hell outta here.
Of course, it hasn't yet crossed his mind that he won't know where to go from here. Even if he knew where "here" was, he's ill equipped to get anywhere but back on the beach staring at the waves.
Our Guy: Hello, there. Listen, can you ...?
Papergirl: Oh! Mr. Schmoepova! I didn't know you were home. I'm sorry for just barging in on you. Guess I shoulda shouted to see if you were around. They told me down at the newspaper that someone had just bought the big seaside lot and that I would be adding it to my route in the morning's. Let me be the first to welcome you to Belladonna Cove Mark II. I'm Keira Long and I'll be delivering your morning paper.
He is momentarily stunned into silence as this information filters his still-throbbing head. Believing some sort of clarification was in order, he smiled at the teen.
Mr. Schmoepova: Err ... you're Keira Long, right?
Mr. Schmoepova: And I'm ...?
It was here that he paused ... a frown coming to his face. Schmoepova ... that's what the girl said his name was ... but there was no tingle of recognition in his mind at it. He stood there, staring at Keira's feet so long that the girl became concerned.
Thinking that perhaps her new guy had some sort of hangover, Keira felt it was her duty to be as helpful as she could be.
Keira: You're Joseph Schmoepova.
Joseph: Oh. Umm ... of course. Of course, I am! Heh! What kinda idiot doesn't know his own name. Certainly not me. And this place is ... MY home, right?
Keira: That's right, sir. Bought and paid for. You must be pretty well off to afford such a large lot ... and right on the water, too! I'm so jealous!
Joseph: Umm ... yeaaaah.
Joseph just nodded and smiled. How could he tell this little slip of a girl that he had no idea if he was "well off" or not. He couldn't recall anything at all! His mind was a total blank! That ... was NOT good! Not wanting this girl to think he was some sort of crackpot ... or crackhead ... he began talking to her about mundane, everyday topics.
Joseph: So ... do you know where I could find a fairly cheap television set?
Keira: Why get a cheap one? You've probably got enough money squirreled away to get the latest 56" 3D HDTV!
Joseph: You think so?
Keira: Absolutely! I've heard that they can even project a rendered chef into your kitchen to teach you how to cook like the gourmets! I TOTALLY wanna get one when I can afford to. That's why I'm doing this paper route.
Joseph: Umm ... I'm not really into cooking all that much.
Newcomer: Heeeey, Keira! What're you still doing hanging around here, girl? Don't you have some papers to deliver?
Keira: Oh! Sorry, Mr. Humble! I didn't realize I'd been lingering so long.
Mr. Humble: That's okay, Keira. Just be more careful next time.
Keira: It was nice meeting you Mr. Schmoepova. I'll see you again tomorrow.
Stunned into silence once more, Joseph looks at the newcomer ... a Mr. Humble according to the papergirl. Maybe he, an adult, could assist him better.
Joseph turned around to address the gentlemen only to have his thoughts interrupted by Mr. Humble placing a brightly wrapped gift on the floor of his ... well ... "home".
And then he was speaking to him.
Mr. Humble: I hope you put it to good use, Mr. Schmoepova. I highly recommend that you plug it in and jump online. You might find something ... or someone useful. So long!
Joseph: Oh, wait, but I ...!
But the man was already gone. Drat! Sighing, Joseph turned towards the package. Not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, he went ahead and opened it.
Not bad. It looked like he could use a computer. His home was very minimalistic, from what he was able to observe. And at least it would keep him connected to the outside. Belladonna Cove Mark II didn't seem to be overly populated.
Following the advice of Mr. Humble, he got the computer set up on a desk that was conveniently located on his foundation and turned it on.
He was more than a little surprise to find that he had an email waiting for him when he connected to the internet (must have been some sort of new-fangled wireless desktop). Opening the message, he saw the following words:
Hey there, Joseph. When you get this message, log into SimHoo Instant Messenger. I believe you and I have a few things we need to discuss. Your login name is "Captain ManBeast". Your password is "MiNdF*-k".
Joseph blinked ... blinked ... and blinked once more.
What the HELL?!?!