Tuesday, January 27, 2009


Joseph blinked one more time before his brain finally managed to send enough electricity through his neurons to get his hands to start typing. Perhaps this "CotM" would have some idea what was going on. Perhaps he could get answers to his questions from this individual. That was his hope. SimHoo IM started up quickly and he found himself typing in the information that "CotM" had provided.

He had barely hit the return key when an alert sound chimed, startling him. Looking up at his screen, he saw that "CotM" was already online.

CotM: Hello, Joseph. How are you settling in to your new home?

Captain ManBeast: Umm ... as well as can be expected all things considered.

CotM: Oh? What's up?

Captain ManBeast: Oh, not much ... considering I don't know how I ended up here, or why I'm here ... and I can't remember much of anything prior to stepping out of the cab and onto the beach.

CotM: Oh! It worked! :O) The EO will be pleased.

Captain ManBeast: What worked? Who's "The EO" ... and who the hell are you while we're at it?

CotM: The mind altering/erasing device. The EO is the purveyor of all of Legacyland and ... well, my boss (of sorts). Me? I'm The EO's right hand. I dole out the rewards and punishments. I rewarded you with a punishment.

Captain ManBeast: ......... What do you mean by that?

CotM: By what?

Captain ManBeast: Well ... all of it, but most importantly ... that bit about punishment.

CotM: Does it really matter?

Captain ManBeast: If it has anything, anything at all to do with why I can't remember anything, then ... well ... HELL YEAH!!

CotM: I'm not really sure if I'm at liberty to tell you anything about your former life.

Captain ManBeast: FORMER? What the hell does that mean?!

CotM: According to Sim-Webster's Dictionary: Former - noun. 1a: coming before in time. 1b: of, relating to, or occurring in the past. 2: preceding in place or arrangement : foregoing. 3: first in order of two or more things cited or understood. 4: having been previously. Pretty simple word to understand I should think.

Captain ManBeast: I don't know you, and already I don't think I like you very much.

CotM: Well, that's just plain rude! Here I am, giving you a perfectly good definition of the word ... and you insult me. There's gratitude for you.

Captain ManBeast: You know PERFECTLY well what I meant, smartass! What did you mean when you referred to my life - my former life?!

CotM: And now he's calling me names. Well, if this is how you're going to chat at me, I'm logging out.

Captain ManBeast: NO! Don't go! Look ... *sigh* ... I'm sorry, okay? I'm just having a really weird moment here. It's a bit disconcerting waking up in a cab to find that I've been dropped off in the middle of nowhere without a memory and then later being called by a name I don't recognize. You'll have to forgive me if I sound a bit out of sorts.

CotM: Joseph Schmoepova is a good name, don't you think? I thought of it myself. ^__^

Captain ManBeast: YOU gave me that name?! But ... but WHY?!

CotM: You weren't very well-liked in you former life, m'boy. You did cruel things to nice people. I'm giving you a rarely given second chance to do something good with your life. I've taken you away from your old life ... where I believe if we hadn't gotten to you, someone else would have. So ... instead of sleeping with the fishes ... or the alternative of me getting a hold of you and stripping your skin from your body with my Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Sword and leaving you to die baking in the sun, The EO gave me permission to "remold" you.

Captain ManBeast: O__o

CotM: My thoughts exactly. Do good things. Settle down. Make gorgeous babies with a nice lady ... or a nice man if that's your preference. Just DO something. Do something USEFUL for the SimWorld. Just know that I'm watching you. If I find that you are slipping into old habits, I've already been given permission to take more PERMANENT actions against you. So ... good luck with your new life and try not to screw it up this time, Joseph Schmoepova. >:O}

CotM has signed off.

Joseph sat there at his computer, oblivious to everything going on around him. His mind and thoughts in turmoil. He may not have FULLY grasped his situation, but one thing was perfectly clear - he was home.

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Lisa said...

Does EO know you're using her name in vain? :D

I wanna see Joe making himself a good life, already.

Anjel76 said...

What'dya mean "in vain"? I'm giving The EO the proper respect she comes to expect of The Captain of the Minionettes. :O)

You'll see more happy times for Joe in the next updates. :O}

SuziCat said...

OH! CotM=Captain of the Minionettes! I feel very silly for not getting that! :-) Yes, he IS lucky to get off so easily! (Okay, did NOT meean to make that sound Gutterville, honest!) ;-)

Anonymous said...

Hmm, a bad boy being given a second chance. Interesting. Very interesting. Will his old nature return? Or will he prevail and make something out of his life?

kimbalaya said...

I was expecting to see a ™ next to the Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Sword reference when CotM was telling Joe what his other options would have been. *giggles*

This should be interesting, now that he knows he was bad in his former life, will he try to go back to it, or will he try to make good?

Oydie said...

Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Sword™ FTW!
It's good to see the CapEeTahn is keeping an eye on Joseph to make sure he doesn't slip back into his wicked ways.
All hail the EO!

pirate-librarian said...

Very nice, Captain! Yes, worse things would have happened, Joe... Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Swords do come to mind..

Then there's what the EO herself might do if she were displeased...

ruby said...

CotM=Captain of the Minionettes?!
Thanks Suzi! Cause I totally missed that *giggles on the gutterville train w/ Suzi*
Interesting conversation they had... now that he's enlightened.. erm ... a bit .. I'm curious to see where he takes this info.

AeronwyDiobhell said...

Well, at least now Joe knows it wasn't all an accident, that his mind was wiped on purpose. :-\ I think the Captain is trying to drive this poor guy batty. *comforts Joe* Wow, he's living under quite the threat of imminent erasure, eh?

Having both the EO and the CotM interested in his actions should make for a very nervous Joseph. *nods*

Bubbs said...

Aww, some things have been told to Joe. Not a lot, but a few items. Love that he has met Cap't and knows of EO...too funny!

suzie sim said...

lol! me wonders how well we would fare living with the threat of the CotM and her Flaming Liquid Nitrogen Sword hovering over us. :D

Mao said...

Bwhahaha... beware, Joe! The hand that giveth also taketh away! He's got quite the 'tude. Hopefully he'll heed the advice he's been given. ;)